I Dont Like Hospitals

Who does like them? They are freezing cold, you get stuck with needles, and you feel sick..

But I am glad to be here now. I have been very sick during the last week of my life.

The last week of my life has been one of the worst experiences of my life. It took me until yesterday to go into a hospital. I now know that the first doctor I saw should have immediately hospitalized me.

I read somewhere that the average panic attack lasts four and a half minutes. I just had one that lasted for six days. It was like living inside a horror movie. I slept for 6 hours during that six days. I ate about a tablespoon of food on each of those days. I was shaking, shivering, terrified and for many days got little or no help from all the doctors and nurses that I saw or repeatedly called day and night.

Finally, I got a smart sensible advice nurse on my medical insurance system who told me I needed to be in a hospital. She was absolutely right!

I have been having a virulent symptomless bladder infection it turns out. Now, here in the ER (where I've been all night) the symptoms have emerged and I am in PAIN.

But I am better mentally because I am now taking meds and am no longer alone in my room at the rooming house in a state of shivering terror.

I am still shaking and shivering and have a burning bladder. And the gurney I've been on all night is ruining my back.

I know I will never be the same after this terrible week of illness and loneliness and terror. I don't know where I am going from here in my life, but my personal confidence has been shattered. All my plans, hopes, dreams of a happy future are gone. I am just a hurting, scared, lonely old lady now. This is a new, and I fear worse, stage of my life.