I Express Myself Through Writing
The most painful thing I think probably anyone can experience is seeing the person that they love, that they are in love with, love someone else. Seeing them with someone else, knowing that they are loving them the way that they used to love you. It's painful. And in order not to think about it you do everything you can to give yourself a chance not to think about it.
But what do you do when that isn't even enough anymore? When all that you did to not think about it fails. Not even sleep, the one thing that was your best bet can't keep you away from those thoughts. You have that same nightmare over and over and over again and you can't escape it. Seeing it and feeling it is worse than the thoughts that you have while you are awake. The best thing you can do is not sleep. The less sleep you get the better because it weakens the chances of having those nightmares that are already etched into your mind.
Even then it's not enough, because sooner or later, you fail and end up crashing and it's not something you then can control. Just like everything else has been.
Everything that you had a grip on in life is all just slipping away, your foundation crumbling. You can't pic up everything alone, you ask for help, trying to get anyone's attention so that they can help, but they just ignore you. You try that one person over and over again, the one you thought would always be there, but he just ignores you. Just like everyone else.
You trusted him, you trusted them, but in the end, it's just you. You drop everything you tried to save, to put back together and you drop to your knees and let the darkness come. Everything gets swallowed up and you look up one last time, the person you want to help you and he just looks at you and laughs. Then all of a sudden, complete darkness, and like everything and everyone else, you're gone.
But what do you do when that isn't even enough anymore? When all that you did to not think about it fails. Not even sleep, the one thing that was your best bet can't keep you away from those thoughts. You have that same nightmare over and over and over again and you can't escape it. Seeing it and feeling it is worse than the thoughts that you have while you are awake. The best thing you can do is not sleep. The less sleep you get the better because it weakens the chances of having those nightmares that are already etched into your mind.
Even then it's not enough, because sooner or later, you fail and end up crashing and it's not something you then can control. Just like everything else has been.
Everything that you had a grip on in life is all just slipping away, your foundation crumbling. You can't pic up everything alone, you ask for help, trying to get anyone's attention so that they can help, but they just ignore you. You try that one person over and over again, the one you thought would always be there, but he just ignores you. Just like everyone else.
You trusted him, you trusted them, but in the end, it's just you. You drop everything you tried to save, to put back together and you drop to your knees and let the darkness come. Everything gets swallowed up and you look up one last time, the person you want to help you and he just looks at you and laughs. Then all of a sudden, complete darkness, and like everything and everyone else, you're gone.
26-30, F
