I My Dog Died
My husband took our tiniest dog, Tabitha, to the vet several weeks ago. She had a torn ACL and they said that because of her other illnesses, she probably wouldn't make it through the surgery. So we decided to take her to the specialists that we rely on for second opinions and such. She is 11 years old and had been losing weight rapidly and then the leg thing occurred. I watched as she trotted down the path to the car. "She'll be fine..." I reported to her twin as he squeezed passed my legs to see through the glass door. Off they went on their two hour trek to the big city.
The hours passed and I got the call. "They said the same things the other place did. It would be better if we left the leg alone...but it turns out she has some kind of tumor on her liver. They are doing tests on it now. They say it needs to be removed right away, 'cause if it bursts, she'll die instantly...Here comes the doctor, I'll call you back..." All that I heard my husband say was "tumor"...
He was crying..."The tumor already started leaking. They can try to remove it, but they don't think she can make it through the surgery. Or i can just take her home."
Verbally, I am the strong one, but as you can read...I Wasn't There. I cry at the vet if one of them is vomiting and weak. I cry when Buster's allergies get gross and he can't see well through the puffy eyes. My eyes water up when they give me that look...you know the one.
"Is she in any pain?" I had to ask.
"No, but they said it is a painful death..." he began explaining in some detail and i stopped him.
"Then you know what we should do. I know it is terrible, but if she is in pain at all then it would be selfish of us to keep her alive just so we could spend more time with her." I sounded like some god awful do-gooder from some badly written tv show.
"I don't know what the right thing to do is." He begged me for some input.
"We both know what the right thing is, but you have to decide 'cause you know I can't." I wimped out.
After a considerable amount of silence, "Okay, I'll go sit with her for awhile and then come home."
My brain screamed "WHAT?!" but i didn't say a thing. He put the phone up to my little Tabitha and I spoke to her and told her mommy loved her. Silence.
The hours passed by slowly as I kept staring at Buster, hoping he would take it well. I watched some sort of tv something or another...still staring at the other two dogs. I hope they don't die from losing her. I tried watching "a dog named Beau" on YouTube so i just start crying for real already. Jimmy Stewart makes me cry when I hear his voice.
Tabitha got the shot and lay in Mark's arms as she drifted off. He said it was very quick. We didn't look at each other the rest of the day. I can't stop talking about her and I keep seeing phantom shadows of her in the house. This is why people made up heaven and ghosts. I keep forgetting.
The hours passed and I got the call. "They said the same things the other place did. It would be better if we left the leg alone...but it turns out she has some kind of tumor on her liver. They are doing tests on it now. They say it needs to be removed right away, 'cause if it bursts, she'll die instantly...Here comes the doctor, I'll call you back..." All that I heard my husband say was "tumor"...
He was crying..."The tumor already started leaking. They can try to remove it, but they don't think she can make it through the surgery. Or i can just take her home."
Verbally, I am the strong one, but as you can read...I Wasn't There. I cry at the vet if one of them is vomiting and weak. I cry when Buster's allergies get gross and he can't see well through the puffy eyes. My eyes water up when they give me that look...you know the one.
"Is she in any pain?" I had to ask.
"No, but they said it is a painful death..." he began explaining in some detail and i stopped him.
"Then you know what we should do. I know it is terrible, but if she is in pain at all then it would be selfish of us to keep her alive just so we could spend more time with her." I sounded like some god awful do-gooder from some badly written tv show.
"I don't know what the right thing to do is." He begged me for some input.
"We both know what the right thing is, but you have to decide 'cause you know I can't." I wimped out.
After a considerable amount of silence, "Okay, I'll go sit with her for awhile and then come home."
My brain screamed "WHAT?!" but i didn't say a thing. He put the phone up to my little Tabitha and I spoke to her and told her mommy loved her. Silence.
The hours passed by slowly as I kept staring at Buster, hoping he would take it well. I watched some sort of tv something or another...still staring at the other two dogs. I hope they don't die from losing her. I tried watching "a dog named Beau" on YouTube so i just start crying for real already. Jimmy Stewart makes me cry when I hear his voice.
Tabitha got the shot and lay in Mark's arms as she drifted off. He said it was very quick. We didn't look at each other the rest of the day. I can't stop talking about her and I keep seeing phantom shadows of her in the house. This is why people made up heaven and ghosts. I keep forgetting.
