I know a good fighter who kept punching back as live was throwing shit at her, you know. Sometimes I would think this time she's not coming back up but she always would. One time I visited her in jail I was 14, she looked at me strong yet caring. She said, have you eaten anything today. I thought that was the most insane thing someone would say in her situation! She's in jail but worries if I ate anything?!. I couldn't take it. I lost it. I weeped for her. I cried like a baby. I cried because one of us had to. It was my mom.
@Madeleine So far, I have, even when I had thought I couldn't. Future circumstances are uncertain, and decisions vary greatly according to circumstances.
There's a lot of stuff that I haven't fully handled yet. It's sitting there, gnawing at me. So far I'm coping with it the best way I know how for now, and I have things that I want to do to make things better. I've bettered my situation a little bit, but I have a long way to go. If I'm not able to make the other changes that I want to make, I don't know what I'm going to do. I can only go on for so long like this. So for me, the jury is still out on this one.