"To the best of my recollection, your honor, I don't remember doing anything wrong"

Depends on the evidence and credible witnesses against you. Judges couldn't care less about your faulty or selective memory. To a lesser degree, which attorney(s) they are better friends with.

So what do you remember?

You know what judges hate? Bullshitters. They got ways of handling bullshitters. Hopefully, you don't do anything too bad that you just can't own and be done with lol

When in doubt, always go with the dissociative fugue state