I Wish That I Could Sleep In Your Arms Tonight
Since I stepped through the door after dropping you off this morning, I've been a wreck. Our Son doesn't know you won't be coming home tonight, or tomorrow, or the night after that. Again, I am left missing you, and dreading crawling into bed alone.
People say "You knew what you signed up for." I didn't. I didn't know the heartache that would accompany every lonely night. I didn't know how devastating it would be every time you come home and tell me you have to leave again. I struggle to get through these deployments, trainings, weeks in the field, and even the 24hr guard shifts.
You told me not to worry, that you'll be home right before Thanksgiving, but that's weeks away. How can I not worry when our Son doesn't understand where his Daddy is? How can I not worry when each week brings me closer to giving birth to our 2nd Son? When every morning I'll wake up knowing it's another day without you?
I won't hear you lightly snoring next to me while I toss and turn trying to get comfortable. I won't be shaking you awake when you sleep through your alarms. I'll miss reminding you to brush your teeth before bed every night, and pushing you over when you start taking up all the space.
The tears seem to have fallen nonstop since stepping through that door. I just want you home, holding me, and never letting go. I always want just one more night.
People say "You knew what you signed up for." I didn't. I didn't know the heartache that would accompany every lonely night. I didn't know how devastating it would be every time you come home and tell me you have to leave again. I struggle to get through these deployments, trainings, weeks in the field, and even the 24hr guard shifts.
You told me not to worry, that you'll be home right before Thanksgiving, but that's weeks away. How can I not worry when our Son doesn't understand where his Daddy is? How can I not worry when each week brings me closer to giving birth to our 2nd Son? When every morning I'll wake up knowing it's another day without you?
I won't hear you lightly snoring next to me while I toss and turn trying to get comfortable. I won't be shaking you awake when you sleep through your alarms. I'll miss reminding you to brush your teeth before bed every night, and pushing you over when you start taking up all the space.
The tears seem to have fallen nonstop since stepping through that door. I just want you home, holding me, and never letting go. I always want just one more night.
