I Dont Know Who I Am Anymore

Well, i know who im!! im not in the right way to make my life better. Being me is pretty sucks, pretty dumb. Im just floating in the ocean of craziness, madness. And unfortunately im loving it and i can't stop loving it. I feel i'm just pathetic girl who doesnt have self control, I'm getting tired of it and also at the same time im becoming the person who i never thought, imagine i would be. It's hard to stop now. its a addicton. I need a cure before its gonna be too late. I don't wanna regret things over the past. I'm getting sick and sicker everyday. but i can't just stop myself. in the deep inside of myself, i see little piece of real myself screaming: PLEASE, HELP ME TO GET OUT OF HERE, HELP ME, BRING ME UP FROM THIS DARK PLACE,IM AFRAID PLEASE. And i just see her from up here and just stand there, doing nothing, enjoy seeing her being helpless, dying. Everyday of my life i tell myself to stop this madness, just stop it right now. i know its wrong and i still doing it. I'm like bomb waiting to explode anytime sometimes. I appreciate my life, i even appriate the dark side of my life. My life gave me many scars. Those scars are so ugly that i miss my plain skin back so much.And it makes me sad. Those scars might limit my path of life or those scars can show me that there are many great ways to create yourself again, be the better existence of myself everyday.