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I Dont Know Who I Am Anymore

Hi I'm not sure if I'm posting in the right area sorry if I'm not . I'm don't know who I am anymore or what I really want I have always been unsure of who I am but lately it seems I've lost all notions of who I am or what I should do . I just moved to this new place new country for a new start so I could find myself but I don't know what I should do or who I should be I honestly have no idea , I don't even know if I'm gay ,bi or whatever I met a nice guy recently online we met a few days ago wants to meet again but not survive I should or not whether rhinos the right decision for me or if I'm making a big mistake I've never been with anyone before him never kissed or anyone of real contact with a person before it was nice but still unsure if it's for me or not if this is who I am am I meant to he interested in guys or is this just because I've been alone for so long do I just want someone to like me to be with me so im not alone all the time, I always have issues with myself don't feel like I'm worth anything I have nothing to offer anyone so why would anyone be interested in me. I keep thinking it would be better if I was gone I don't do anything here except take up space really I won't take my own life couldn't do that to the people I care about I just wish that I could just disappear from life any memory Donne to be erased like Ines's never here so nobody could be hurt by me being gone or if I could give thereat of my life to someone that needs/wants it like a terminally I'll kid I don't get why others die who are so young and want to live them someone like me who just wants his life to end to get some terminal disease or in some accident that ends it just so I don't have to make the decision and to make my end a bit more easier on the ones I care about.

I am sorry my post is a mess and I really appreciate you for taking the time to read it . Thank You
Madhatter · 31-35, M
Have you ever read Alice's Adventures in Wonderland? There's one part that always stuck with me:

Alice is lost in the forest and asks the Cheshire Cat "Which way do I go to get out of here?" The Cheshire Cat replies, "That depends on where you want to end up." Alice exclaims, "I don't care where!" And the Cheshire Cat says "Then it doesn't matter which way you go."

The point being, if you find yourself lost in life, unsure of where you are, where you should go, or what you should do, then simply go forward. Do something. Do anything. You'll end up somewhere sooner or later. The important thing is that you won't be exactly where you are, is it not?
Finding yourself, I'm not sure anyone ever really does, life's a ever changing adventure, the unexpected pops up and it changes again, sometimes for good and sometimes not so good, your in a new place so no one knows you or can make judgment calls about you. Go out and have a bit of fun, I think people do settle for sometimes with a person when there lonely, but you know the only way to solve that is to meet new people, your special and unique and settling for second best shouldn't be a option, get yourself out in the world and mingle, you will find out more about yourself that way I think, you will find what gender you prefer as well, but then again it could change. You won't ever know if you are just waiting on it to happen by itself. I'm not sure if I answered your question or confused you, I get off track and subject lol 😁, anyways I hope things start looking up for you

Rick

 
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