Do you know if you were after being abused why would you hurt yourself more ?
See the problem is I'm on medication from the doctor and its effected my self esteem . With that then its after leading in to other obsessions which I dont like acting out on cause it makes me worse .
I know there not good for me but I still act out . I'm after cutting down on my meds for the last week and my mind is racing mad . I feel since I'm on the meds over my self esteem being effected that I'm acting out on other meds .
My doctor I dont trust cause something went wrong down along the line with her . At the start she was very understanding when I used to explain things to her . I was very happy with her . That was for about 3 years . After that then she diagnosed me with psychosis one week and the following week she gave me a diagnosis with Schizophrenia which I dont have . I have none of them.
So what I was thinking was that someone was filling her ear to diagnosis me with these to go against me. I dont trust the staff either in the system .
I think I'm better off doing it alone cause she had my family convinced that I had these diagnosis which caused savage tension in the house . After awhile and about 3 years into the diagnosis my family questioned the doctor cause they knew that I didnt have those diagnoses. What should I do next do you think cause since I went up the mental health services I had obsessions and if totally honest before that I didnt have an obsession for 15 years and I find obsessions makes you very unhappy . The obsessions are never satisfied.
Then I have a friend and that person is on meds and the only reason why he wants me on them is cause hes on them . It's like a drug obsessions. It brings u into the dark and then you start question does God exist but I know he does that's why my gut feeling is drop everything other wise if you go against it your miserable and the resentments comes in , all of that bull shit .
I know there not good for me but I still act out . I'm after cutting down on my meds for the last week and my mind is racing mad . I feel since I'm on the meds over my self esteem being effected that I'm acting out on other meds .
My doctor I dont trust cause something went wrong down along the line with her . At the start she was very understanding when I used to explain things to her . I was very happy with her . That was for about 3 years . After that then she diagnosed me with psychosis one week and the following week she gave me a diagnosis with Schizophrenia which I dont have . I have none of them.
So what I was thinking was that someone was filling her ear to diagnosis me with these to go against me. I dont trust the staff either in the system .
I think I'm better off doing it alone cause she had my family convinced that I had these diagnosis which caused savage tension in the house . After awhile and about 3 years into the diagnosis my family questioned the doctor cause they knew that I didnt have those diagnoses. What should I do next do you think cause since I went up the mental health services I had obsessions and if totally honest before that I didnt have an obsession for 15 years and I find obsessions makes you very unhappy . The obsessions are never satisfied.
Then I have a friend and that person is on meds and the only reason why he wants me on them is cause hes on them . It's like a drug obsessions. It brings u into the dark and then you start question does God exist but I know he does that's why my gut feeling is drop everything other wise if you go against it your miserable and the resentments comes in , all of that bull shit .
41-45, M
