I Have Issues With Trusting

I want to be more open and talkative with others but it’s so hard to hold a conversation and having to trust people. I’m just a quiet person who enjoys being alone most of the time & im very insecure. I want to meet more people and make long, lasting friendships and have a boyfriend that I’m able to trust and tell everything to, I’m 26 yrs old and never had a best friend, ever!! I’m not close with any of my family members. I don’t really trust my current bf I’m afraid to let him know me, let him in, my problems. I’m just a loner whose always so lonely and miserable at times because I have no one. There’s a lot of things I need to work on, my self- esteem, my anger, anxiety, controlling issues. I really don’t want to be alone anymore, I want someone to just accept me and only be my friend I’m able to fully trust.