I Am A Strange Person Who Has Strange Ways

And most times it is unrecognizable to me...until now. What sanity is to me is madness to others; those I love specifically, one who is dearest to me. I've been told this a million times, thousands of different ways and been given hundreds of actions all screaming the same thing. IM INSANE, DELUSIONAL EVEN. I laughed at this countless times but it isn't so funny now.

If I continue down this "rabbithole" I will lose everything (I will still have my dignity and self respect but that isn't the point), there is still a part of me that wishes to be seen as an ordinary man. That still matters to me for now...it's the only thing keeping me from being the animal I wish to be.

My cage is breaking, I thought I was in control but I've been losing control...I've been weakening...my Reaper is coming soon...to claim the throne. I admit I need to step down once again. Heavy is the crown. I just want to be a man but a man gets tired ...I can't afford that at this moment...weakness. With no king (Jonathan) the kingdom (my everything) crumbles into ashes (the abyss) and their will be no light (love) they may not notice that I have left but I will (one of us must stay in the abyss)...

I gave my soul to gain this world and I'm just the kind of guy to burn it all down and watch...in rage because I loved it...all...