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I Dont Believe In Monogamy

I've never been more convinced in the futility of long-term/permanent monogamy as I am right now. So. My mother went away to my aunt's house for the week for the holidays. I swear, my dad has become a different person. I'm sure my mother is doing very well, as well. My dad is normally very brooding and clearly stressed out. Every little thing irritates him, and he's always very tense: like he's walking on eggshells. Today, he's free as a bird. It's like he's on Cloud 9. All happy-go-lucky, full of energy, playing with the dogs. Like a great weight has been lifted from his shoulders.

My mother has in the recent past, also expressed--in no uncertain terms--how she wishes to be divorced and venting fervently to me on how terrible my father is. She just has nowhere else to go. And she has no skills or education or anything to support herself. So she has no choice but to stay with my dad.

I think they'd both be a lot better off if they did divorce and found other people. But that's the thing with monogamy. You grow so comfortable with this other person--even if you don't love them--that's what you're *used* to, and it's scary to branch out, even when it would be the best thing for you. Then, they have religion that doubly enforces that, so the ending is that they both feel trapped.

But people always rationalize it. Like, "Oh, this one person was just bad for me." But I've never seen it any different. They never think "Oh, it's the *situation* I've put myself in, not the person I put myself in that situation with."

Well. That's how I see it.
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swandfriends · 41-45, F
I think most people are better off single. Or to at least to get to know the single life sometime in your life durring an extended period of time. I've been single most of my life. I have found, not only in myself, but have noticed with other people, sometimes you can't really be your true self around a partner. That's what sounds like is going on with your dad
Tatsumi · 31-35, M
@swandfriends I didn't think of it like that. Interesting. That's probably right on point. He is the rock; mom is the ocean. They've also pretty much never been single. Moms was 19 when she got married to him; he was 28, but was in a rock band, so, basically nonstop women. Neither of them have really ever been single.

Why do you think that would be important? Self-mastery?
swandfriends · 41-45, F
Oh yeah people that have never experienced being completely single might start to re-evaluate who they are inside and what they really want to do in life after becoming single. They may realize that they were being held back in some way. Whether their sense of humor, sense of adventure.. they might end up running across someone later in life that they realize they are way more compatible with. People change after about 25-30 something years of age