Life is painful in a strange way sometimes. I've found that I've experienced many things I wanted to experience. But not the specific way I wanted to.

I have wrestled with this since I've been disabled. I'm so proud of my siblings and everything they've accomplished, the people they've grown into, etc., but it also rips into my soul because I haven't. I'm almost 32, and I'm still jobless, degree-less, whatever. Life just got in the way, and has continued to... and I've gotten in my own way more than once.

The universe doesn't have any sympathy for our tiny tragedies, it would seem.

You could have written this for me also, except the soul searching part. I don’t do that anymore. I spent decades soul searching, and never got anywhere. Now, I just accept, and have a good old venting session now and again.

I wish you well on this arduous journey, called life. 🙏

My biggest lessons came from the worst traumas and pains. I don’t know how to fix the aftermath but I do my best to learn from them and to heal.
I am a much older soul than I was even three years ago.

I realize I am my soul... now I'm just trying to understand it better. I've been blessed with things I didn't think I'd ever have, but the outcomes were not what I expected. Releasing expectations is a key I think. I understand what you mean by being sad, yet happy.

yeh, hey, i'm a widower now so... i gotcha!

life eh? i wonder if life is empathic or just a practical jokester?