Dating & Relationships
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When you're dating someone new...

And beginning to know them, do you feel you need to be "it all" for them? Like, funny, attractive, fun, laid back etc?
I put so much pressure on myself to be it ALL, that I get too nervous that I can't meet that expectation. So I don't date, ever. It's really making me sad year after year. How can one just take the pressure DOWN?
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PirateMonkeyCabinet · M Best Comment
Never been one to look for love through dating but even if I've found someone I'm interested in seeing if something more can come out of, or someone I'm head over heels for, I still don't feel I need to be it all for them nor do I want to be that. It just ain't healthy for either party.

It's been a hard learnt lesson, but understanding that have made me lower my guard a bit more when in situations with someone who could be a potential partner.

And as has been said before, it's much more important to focus on what they are to you and if they are what you want and need, NOT what you are to them. You shouldn't have to be everything for them, you shouldn't have to feel like you need to be perfect for them, you should be the person you are, and if that's not what they are after they can sod off. If you need to change to be enough for them, to pretend you are someone other than yourself with all the highs and lows that entail, then they don't deserve you.

Be your own most important person, care first and foremost for yourself on a date. Don't try to influence whether he likes you or not, just be the you that you are now. Focus instead on finding out if this is a person who you feel you'd be comfortable with no matter which way the wind blows.
Coralmist · 36-40, F
[@822756,PirateMonkeyCabinet] I truly appreciate your kind, reflective words, friend. That's true, it's just not RIGHT or realistic to be it ALL for someone. To be funny AND KIND AND THIS AND THAT. I feel too much pressure when I think like that. Thank you 🦋🤗🌹
[@562099,Coralmist] You're welcome. 🤗

Just never forget to be you, you are good enough.

And thank you for BC! 😊

PTCdresser57 · 61-69, M
Just be you!! Don't be something you naturally are not. I always did that and never had any problems

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