I Feel Alone
Well, I really don't feel alone but I can't seem to find the exact group for what I'm feeling so this would do.
The thing is, I've lost my best friend recently and now it seems we're on acquaintance mode. She greeted me on my birthday and I replied but that's it.
Sometimes I wonder if there's something wrong with me. I have friends. But best friends keep coming and going like they're only seasonal. It's kind of a tough situation when you lost connection with someone who you thought would be it. I've seen the signs that it wasn't what I wanted, the friendship with her I mean, but I still kinda hoped that maybe it's not what I wanted but what I needed. Now, I don't know anymore.
I'm friendly and all and people like coming to me. But when I'm the one feeling unhappy and I scan my phone, I can't choose anyone who I want to talk to. I guess no one really knows me, not all of me at least.
And ever since dad died, I've been looking for that one friend who would stick up for me. You know, the kind when whenever you're angry or hurt, he/she will ask who did it and be ready to pounce. The kind who, when I'm temperamental, would hand me a porcelain plate and ask me to throw it so I'll feel better. The kind I could lose myself with because I know I won't fall and he/she will catch me and not use my words or my feelings against me.
Sometimes, it's hard to know you're willing to do things for people, but they wouldn't go to such lengths for you.
The thing is, I've lost my best friend recently and now it seems we're on acquaintance mode. She greeted me on my birthday and I replied but that's it.
Sometimes I wonder if there's something wrong with me. I have friends. But best friends keep coming and going like they're only seasonal. It's kind of a tough situation when you lost connection with someone who you thought would be it. I've seen the signs that it wasn't what I wanted, the friendship with her I mean, but I still kinda hoped that maybe it's not what I wanted but what I needed. Now, I don't know anymore.
I'm friendly and all and people like coming to me. But when I'm the one feeling unhappy and I scan my phone, I can't choose anyone who I want to talk to. I guess no one really knows me, not all of me at least.
And ever since dad died, I've been looking for that one friend who would stick up for me. You know, the kind when whenever you're angry or hurt, he/she will ask who did it and be ready to pounce. The kind who, when I'm temperamental, would hand me a porcelain plate and ask me to throw it so I'll feel better. The kind I could lose myself with because I know I won't fall and he/she will catch me and not use my words or my feelings against me.
Sometimes, it's hard to know you're willing to do things for people, but they wouldn't go to such lengths for you.
