I Feel Alone
I'm in one of my moods atm.
I'm sitting here in the dark with music playing softly in the background, and it hits me....I'm alone. Usually it doesn't bother me because I prefer my own company to others, most days. But in this instance I actually feel the loneliness. Maybe it's because I'm becoming even more self aware about my thoughts and especially, my issues. Maybe it's because I'm realizing I'm 3 years away from 30 and I've yet to "fix" myself. I'm not exactly sure what brought about this awareness truth be told, but it's there-I'm feeling IT. As I'm pondering over this, it's also really hitting me that there has been one person who has not given up on me, despite the numerous times I've ignored, disappointed, and completely disappeared from her life. She's constantly reached out to me and without her knowledge, actually pulled me out of my dark, lonely, and miserable 'reality.' Every time I pull away from everyone, isolating myself, I am actually aware that I'm doing so. I just can't help myself and she's never, not once, made me feel she’s disappointment in me. I hope one day I can express from the depth of my soul, that I appreciate her, love her, and am lucky to be in her life.
If there is one thing I could with for; I'd wish that she would never give up on me. 😣😣
I'm sitting here in the dark with music playing softly in the background, and it hits me....I'm alone. Usually it doesn't bother me because I prefer my own company to others, most days. But in this instance I actually feel the loneliness. Maybe it's because I'm becoming even more self aware about my thoughts and especially, my issues. Maybe it's because I'm realizing I'm 3 years away from 30 and I've yet to "fix" myself. I'm not exactly sure what brought about this awareness truth be told, but it's there-I'm feeling IT. As I'm pondering over this, it's also really hitting me that there has been one person who has not given up on me, despite the numerous times I've ignored, disappointed, and completely disappeared from her life. She's constantly reached out to me and without her knowledge, actually pulled me out of my dark, lonely, and miserable 'reality.' Every time I pull away from everyone, isolating myself, I am actually aware that I'm doing so. I just can't help myself and she's never, not once, made me feel she’s disappointment in me. I hope one day I can express from the depth of my soul, that I appreciate her, love her, and am lucky to be in her life.
If there is one thing I could with for; I'd wish that she would never give up on me. 😣😣
31-35, F
