I Am Not Alone, But I Still Feel Alone

I feel overwhelmed with sadness, anxiety, fear, depression, and hoplesnesses. I feel so empty and so dead inside. The last few days I have been feeling like a dark cloud is over my head. I am filled with negative emotions. Its hard when all you have done in life is keep going and being hopeful. I am well known to preserve and people know me to have good head over my shoulders but they do not know the work and struggles I have had to endured. My heart misses father God. Today I went to church and felt so alive like I use to when I would volunteer. I now feel empty again. I am sad, I am drained, I feel hopeless, I feel alone, I am exhausted. Father God I do not want to feel so well acquainted with the bad things life but rather the good things. I am so in my head that if nothing is going wrong than my life is not going right. When my life goes wrong it comforts me because this is the known. When something is going right it scares me because its not normal. I really dislike that my head is this way.