I don't know how to help you but I knew someone that did cut and was sometimes suicidal. All I know is that I have had thoughts of suicide many times in last month or so since I lost someone very special to me. I have the pile of all kinds of pain and blood pressure pills and it would be so easy. But I would probably hurt the woman I pain for and my family who know nothing of how I feel. I try to focus on the good times I had with her and how I do still love her. I have gone to the edge of doing it but have always backed off. If there is anything you can hold onto to make you feel more psi time then try that. You have so much more life to live and it isn't all bad. We have alot to feel good about here on earth and you will find alot in life to love. Just hold on and don't give up. You are worth more than you give yourself credit for.

That is hard to deal with, I can imagine. For me the self injury thing would be smoking. I want a cigarette so bad right now I can't describe the need

If youre gonna do it, youre gonna do it. Theres nothing you or i can really do to stop it. All i can do, is offer a listening ear and an open shoulder to cry/bleed on.