I have a penis..no, not a cucumber or even a garden hose, just a regular old penis. It's not that thick, like a coke can but it's mine nonetheless. It gets the job done and I get the occasional "you should call me again sometime". I usually get a disconnected number but I get the line regardless. It doesn't discriminate, and all clams are fair game. My penis and I have been through many hardships and have only grown stronger. I may not have the makings of a porn star, but I can still work it like a chinese kid in a sweat shop. It makes me happy and encourages me to get laid. There is no greater friendship than that of a man and his penis.
"True friends are never apart, maybe in distance but never in heart"