Sex, intimacy and relating - now and in the past? [I Think Intimacy Is Much Deeper Than Sex]

@SW-User Call me old-fashioned but I really think that's a big part of the problem. Instant gratification. No commitment. How does that help build society?

@PhilDeep instant and fickle.

@SW-User I've never done that nor do I ever plan to. We're humans, not toys, after-all.

@PhilDeep you respect yourself and others.
In my case, I usually don't even know what to think.

@SW-User With those boundaries, yes, but for a lot of years I wasn't robust enough emotionally so was abused in that way. I'm staying safer while I recover, hopefully, friend.

You mean people try to enter into a relationship with you and you aren't sure about if you should or not?

I have concluded "better safe than sorry" for myself.

You seem quite decent in your values so I hope you are treated okay when you choose to relate, friend.

@PhilDeep I mean that relationships are confusing and haven't been really enjoyable for me.. Like I feel I'm starting to enjoying... It starts to change... And well lots of unnecessary stuff

@SW-User I doubt you're alone in that. Two decades ago when I was interested and trying, there were so many books on this, presumably because nobody really learns relating skills by socialising in the community like people used to do, and then most people are confused when they do enter a relationship...

My conclusion is people are richly complex and so relationships are even more complex. I think they take energy and commitment. Society used to have pressures within it designed to encourage commitment and longevity. They are long-gone... Just my thoughts, friend.

@PhilDeep I think first impressions have had a key effect on me, impressions and how they are in the beginning... Then it starts to change, and that's when I wonder what happened. It's just all fickle or changing.

@SW-User Dating seems to have always been played as a bit of a game. That's why I didn't play it. The thrill of seduction is different ftom the realities of commitment, I think. Even people who are serious will find that the practicalities of life entering their relationship may impinge on the romance, but seduction without intent to commit, when the other party isn't playing, seems downright deceptive to me. Simple truth: people lie, including about love when what they want is sex. I hope you aren't played this way?

I don't find swinging lifestyle remotely compatible with my own values but at least they're upfront with each other instead of trying to pretend. Again, just some thoughts, friend.