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I Think Intimacy Is Much Deeper Than Sex
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Sex, intimacy and relating - now and in the past?

I think it used to be that people were sexual only in their most intimate relationships. Now people are only intimate in their most sexual relationships?
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Magenta · F
Mmhm, and I find that sad. So much of the depth and connection are lost.
Magenta · F
[@1044765,HatterM] Beyond the curiosity of trying it out, I imagine the psychology behind it is... someone who can't handle a give and take mature adult relationship. They only want the easy self serving part. Blech.
HatterM · 46-50, M
[@1173,Magenta] Yup. Still just a toy to my mind and completely not my thing 😐
Magenta · F
[@1044765,HatterM] Because you're a man of discernment and substance. 😘
hunkalove · 61-69, M
I blame it on the Bossa Nova.
Peaches · F
Yeah, 😔 kind of like "friends with benefits." 👎
HatterM · 46-50, M
[@364304,Peaches] I think that's cop-out and leads to hurt, but maybe it works for some.
Peaches · F
[@1044765,HatterM] I agree with you.
Gaiia · F
It gets confusing...
And it feels like many people don't even consider it special.. Just a way to get off and that's it.
Sad.
HatterM · 46-50, M
[@536386,Gaiia] I doubt you're alone in that. Two decades ago when I was interested and trying, there were so many books on this, presumably because nobody really learns relating skills by socialising in the community like people used to do, and then most people are confused when they do enter a relationship...

My conclusion is people are richly complex and so relationships are even more complex. I think they take energy and commitment. Society used to have pressures within it designed to encourage commitment and longevity. They are long-gone... Just my thoughts, friend.
Gaiia · F
[@1044765,HatterM] I think first impressions have had a key effect on me, impressions and how they are in the beginning... Then it starts to change, and that's when I wonder what happened. It's just all fickle or changing.
HatterM · 46-50, M
[@536386,Gaiia] Dating seems to have always been played as a bit of a game. That's why I didn't play it. The thrill of seduction is different ftom the realities of commitment, I think. Even people who are serious will find that the practicalities of life entering their relationship may impinge on the romance, but seduction without intent to commit, when the other party isn't playing, seems downright deceptive to me. Simple truth: people lie, including about love when what they want is sex. I hope you aren't played this way?

I don't find swinging lifestyle remotely compatible with my own values but at least they're upfront with each other instead of trying to pretend. Again, just some thoughts, friend.

 
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I Think Intimacy Is Much Deeper Than Sex
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