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Would their secret be safe with you?

SO my 13 year old niece came out to me as bi-sexual recently. Of course her secret is safe with me and I have not had the desire to tell anyone, but I do wonder what made her tell me. She told me that she was playing at first , but this was because she didn't know if she could trust me or not, but she then brought it back up and said that she is in fact bi-sexual which I kind of figured anyway for a long time. I am comfortable posting here because nobody knows I'm on this site that I actually know.

What would you have done in this situation if the shoe was on your foot? Has it happened to you?
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DeWayfarer · 61-69, M
No I wouldn't tell.

Yet given other values I unfortunately understand why some would tell.

It's funny that you find it ok for her to have sleep overs with other girls yet not ok to do the same with boys or say a mix group of boys and girls. Especially since you're not ok for her to have a girl friend over.

She could see that as confusing if not hypocritical.

I understand she is too young. Yet at the same time would expect her to invite certain girls for a sleepover just because of experimentation.

Hope you realize this.
butterfly1013 · 26-30, F
@DeWayfarer For the most part, she gets why, but in a traditional type of family or upbringing that's normal. I would definitely understand why it would be like that because it's more common that they may be into the opposite sex. For example, My mom didn't send me off with boys and yes, I had a few friends that were boys, but that was only at school. I couldn't bring a boy home like that. In fact.. I was almost 18 when I started seriously seeing a guy. It's not about sexuality more than it's about her age. Her sexuality has nothing to do with her having boy or girl friends. Also sexuality isn't always about sex.

As far as that goes, she likes boys more than girls and she has not actually done anything with either. She's not thinking about that from my talks with her. In fact she barely has sleep overs at her house. She has had a few, but the girls she has had over she has not even been remotely interested in. They're her friends. It's less likely for her to be doing any experimenting right now. Now, it's possible, but with her I doubt it. She's never left alone at home or anything and usually when she's has sleep overs I've been there supervising and their under me majority of the time. It's innocent as far as I can tell. I don't think she would have bothered telling me about her sexuality if she wasn't. She has only possibly talked to girls at school... but as far as anything more, I doubt it.

A lot of her friends are straight or have boyfriends. Some of those girls.. are also related to her with the exception of a few. I pretty much know all of her friends in some way.. at least majority of them.. trust me.. she is not doing anything .. not yet.
DeWayfarer · 61-69, M
@butterfly1013 she's your niece. Yet I wouldn't be so trusting.

Solely because of my own experiences began at 10. Yes 10!
butterfly1013 · 26-30, F
@DeWayfarer I get it, but not everyone will be the same. I know how her mind operates for the most part and as of now, I don't think she's focused on that. She doesn't even like to be around people like that which is one of the many things we have in common. I'm surprised that every once in awhile she will go to a sleep over. She likes to be a lone with her phone. I'm more worried that's she's in a relationship with her phone than anything.
DeWayfarer · 61-69, M
@butterfly1013 and that is something I didn't have and something you should be concerned about on top of rest.

I grew up in a different era. Yet even then kids were not as naive as you are making them out to be.

They do have the internet now days. And that's a world that didn't exist for me or anyone else.

And believe me I wasn't that innocent even at ten, eleven, twelve or when I was eventually raped at fourteen.

Yes multiple experiences! And with the exception of the rape all near my age group.