what would you change?

Life can always be harder or worse, so to say no i’ve not feels wrong.
But, no.
I grew up as the invisible child. My parents adore me. Much like a person has a favorite object on a shelf that they would be saddened to see gone, but it serves no purpose in their lives. Until I was 8 years old I felt loved. But then mom left dad and I was let to know what a burden I was. i became an object. I was only seen by dad when he had someone to show me off to. Mom let me know how spoiled I was every time she did something like, you know, the once a year school clothes shopping. Granted we lived under the poverty line and I was lucky she bought me clothes. But I was by no means spoiled. Outside of these things, I could have set myself on fire and no one would notice. Unless of course the fire made me ugly and then my dad would of course let me know about it. He always did make sure to let me know if I was looking too fat the few times a year he saw me - he lived 4 miles away.
I married at 17, had 4 kids by the time I was 21.
I married a nice fellow who has his own issues. like this one. I will post tis and he will read it. I do very little that he does not make sure he can get a look at. He accidentally purchased an item on my amazon account yesterday so I suspect he’s got all my passwords to everything and anything now too. He has trust issues, control issues. He’s pretty sure Im cheating on him allll the fucking time. For years I was not allowed friends. Now he has told me I need one friend. A drinking buddy. Has to be female. He has allowed me to be friends with his co-workers or his friends wives in the past. What a hoot.
Since that is only the basics, Im sure you can see there is a lot of things I would love to change. The problem is, if I change them, Im still me and I still make the sorts of decisions I make.
There is nothing I could do to change anything in my parents lives to make them happy together. They made the decisions they did based on how broken they were before they found each other. Same with my fathers parents. I can’t say much about moms because I only knew her dad and her aunt. Her mom died when she was an infant and she never knew what it was like to be loved. She was just a burden herself.

As far as history goes, if you take out one dictator there will be another one in line waiting for their turn. People in power are always after more power. There have been a number of hitlers but hitler gets most of the credit for being a monster. He was not the only one or even the most recent one.

All politicians will be loved or disliked by many.

You take out a hero the writers will find a new one.
You take out the villain there is always going to be one to take its place.

What needs to be changed is Us. Ourselves. Our thoughts, our choices, our actions and even our ideas. We are the problem and the solution. When we take ourselves out the equation, the problems only change. they never go away.

Nothing.Not because I think it is perfect but because whatever was changed would create a whole new set of outcomes. There is no saying that things will be better. Only different.

Most recently, not allow myself to be so vulnerable.

perhaps forbid the production of Uggs boots

I'd probably go back and tell younger me to just go mute after my throat abscess healed up, which took about a month and a half, because it would save a lot of grief in the future.

I just have one term to use to answer this...
Butterfly Effect.
If you went back to the age of Dinosaurs, and killed a mosquito, just that little act could actually make you not exist today.

There are many things in my past that I would change, but I wouldn't change the now.

Read a whole lot more in my early years

Doran10, what would you read? Pearlrose, what happened to your throat? Twiddlerofthumbs, you have a very interesting attitude. you have probably had a nice life, correct? Marsandbob, why do you think you are vulnerable? Elyay2001, what would you change then?

ya bunny, I bet he is. I'm sorry.

The classics

twiddlerofthumbs...your husband is a dream next to mine