I need antidepressants

My mental well being isn't so well I'm constantly looking back into my past to combat new issues that don't even compare to any comtemporary issues at hand.. I just wish I was dead instead of constantly thinking.. I'll never be good enough for anyone's daughter, I'll never reach the Pinnacle of success because there's no way for me to obtain it I'm truly in ruins.. I don't think I can manage living for the next few months death is calling and I keep avoiding the call... That's going to.change when I answer