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I have 5 people I know I can put my life in their hands .
I had quite a few more that I could have said the same about ,but sadly they are no longer with us ,
but they called on me when they knew they were dying ,I was the one thy asked to pray for them ,several I was the first to know they were dying .
(If you knew the old me ,you would know that says a lot )
I was once hell on wheels ,and to be my friend wasn't easy .
I can't say I have not screwed my best friend's over before (when I was a drunk I cared about no one but me ,it hurts to admit that ,but its true ,I thought I was the star and they were the one lucky to be counted as my friend ,it was the other way around )
But in the end that only proves what great friends they are .
All of them looked past the arrogant ,know it all ,bragging ass I was,
and they were there to dust me off when I fell and lost it all ,(more than once)
They were there to show me it wasn't money ,or drugs ,or anything I could buy their friendship with .they seen something in me that deep down inside ,I didn't see myself .I was generous with people I loved ,but actually I was trying to buy love .
They were there because somehow I got into their hearts (they were much better friends than I ever was ,
I tried to buy loyalty and love ,they gave it for free )
Even when I had my dreams in my hand ,I was still a very insecure person ,and I self sabotaged myself ,always so sure the people I loved would abandon me or screw me over ,I brought my nightmares on myself ,it was not easy to be around me
Bragging about being a hero on minute ,crying about my childhood the next .
(Some might think I still do that now ,the difference is I am clean and sober now and I share the bad to say you can overcome the past too ,its no longer my excuse to be an ass )
So now that I know its not wealth and fame that makes you successful ,
They all mean the world to me ,God only knows why they stuck by me ,
(women who promised to love me for better or worse , and many family members sure as hell didn't )
But I praise God the ones that did show me what unconditional love was about .
My kids ,my grandkids ,and the friends I have ,Priceless .
I am a very blessed man ,all I can say is
Thank you Lord ,I know I don't deserve any of them ,or your mercy .
Sorry I took so long to see all the things I needed ,
you had already provided for me .I was just to absorbed in self pity to see
I had quite a few more that I could have said the same about ,but sadly they are no longer with us ,
but they called on me when they knew they were dying ,I was the one thy asked to pray for them ,several I was the first to know they were dying .
(If you knew the old me ,you would know that says a lot )
I was once hell on wheels ,and to be my friend wasn't easy .
I can't say I have not screwed my best friend's over before (when I was a drunk I cared about no one but me ,it hurts to admit that ,but its true ,I thought I was the star and they were the one lucky to be counted as my friend ,it was the other way around )
But in the end that only proves what great friends they are .
All of them looked past the arrogant ,know it all ,bragging ass I was,
and they were there to dust me off when I fell and lost it all ,(more than once)
They were there to show me it wasn't money ,or drugs ,or anything I could buy their friendship with .they seen something in me that deep down inside ,I didn't see myself .I was generous with people I loved ,but actually I was trying to buy love .
They were there because somehow I got into their hearts (they were much better friends than I ever was ,
I tried to buy loyalty and love ,they gave it for free )
Even when I had my dreams in my hand ,I was still a very insecure person ,and I self sabotaged myself ,always so sure the people I loved would abandon me or screw me over ,I brought my nightmares on myself ,it was not easy to be around me
Bragging about being a hero on minute ,crying about my childhood the next .
(Some might think I still do that now ,the difference is I am clean and sober now and I share the bad to say you can overcome the past too ,its no longer my excuse to be an ass )
So now that I know its not wealth and fame that makes you successful ,
They all mean the world to me ,God only knows why they stuck by me ,
(women who promised to love me for better or worse , and many family members sure as hell didn't )
But I praise God the ones that did show me what unconditional love was about .
My kids ,my grandkids ,and the friends I have ,Priceless .
I am a very blessed man ,all I can say is
Thank you Lord ,I know I don't deserve any of them ,or your mercy .
Sorry I took so long to see all the things I needed ,
you had already provided for me .I was just to absorbed in self pity to see
NickiHijab · F
ProdigalSummer · F
Mondayschild · F
summersong · F