Lol I know I've been asking a lot with writing tips and criticism on pieces. But I honestly think I should've posted the whole to have help with all
Of it. Please do correct my grammar, point out things that are confusing, and or make suggestions on what I could put for a specific part that may seem off. (Btw it's a personal narritive assignment about the death of a friend and just the affect on me and people around me. Thanks)
Story:
The car door swung open with a small but audible click, he jolted himself up and found his balance in between steps. He’d been holding a box with both hands, clasping the bottom sides so nothing came tumbling out. He slowly loosened his grip and placed it down in the middle of the ground “We’re set now” he tiredly gruffed. I eyed the box in excitement, crouching down i’d lifted the folds, exposing the colorful goodies that were inside: fireworks. I reached in with one hand and inspected each, some were big, some were small, and some were oddly shaped. Fireworks had been something i’d yet to really experience, so of course i found myself intrigued by the thought of seeing them lit in front of me. Sure fireworks were seen as merely as something pretty to look at, but the kick was the noise they would make when they’d blow up. Digging deeper into the box, i’d found a red rectangular box labeled “Snap Dragons” in big black letters. These had been the only “Fireworks” that I’d actually been familiar with, since there'd been many occasions where I'd gotten to throw these with relatives. “Alex, Audrey we’re going to start the fireworks!” in a speedy zipp, they both sprung out almost instantly, as if they had been a part of a marathon of some sort.
Story:
The car door swung open with a small but audible click, he jolted himself up and found his balance in between steps. He’d been holding a box with both hands, clasping the bottom sides so nothing came tumbling out. He slowly loosened his grip and placed it down in the middle of the ground “We’re set now” he tiredly gruffed. I eyed the box in excitement, crouching down i’d lifted the folds, exposing the colorful goodies that were inside: fireworks. I reached in with one hand and inspected each, some were big, some were small, and some were oddly shaped. Fireworks had been something i’d yet to really experience, so of course i found myself intrigued by the thought of seeing them lit in front of me. Sure fireworks were seen as merely as something pretty to look at, but the kick was the noise they would make when they’d blow up. Digging deeper into the box, i’d found a red rectangular box labeled “Snap Dragons” in big black letters. These had been the only “Fireworks” that I’d actually been familiar with, since there'd been many occasions where I'd gotten to throw these with relatives. “Alex, Audrey we’re going to start the fireworks!” in a speedy zipp, they both sprung out almost instantly, as if they had been a part of a marathon of some sort.
22-25, M