What do you people think of my attempt at writing rap?

"Rippin zipties off of wrists tied to restrain the pain caused by the riptides/swirling in my sick mind, brain bathed in Strychnine, like the vortex in my cortex is boiling over inside. Adrenaline like I'm diving off a cliff side, a gentleman who'd wear a suit no parachute then realize I can't fly. I fight a white knuckle struggle gripping graphite, dripping ash lines on paper potent as vapor from a hash pipe..." And that's all I got so far for that rhyme.