I Want to Find My Soulmate

Is it a soulmate I want?

I just want to find a place where I can exist in my many forms and be cherished and desired and loved.

I want to return that.

I don't want to doubt.

I want to believe.

But that is all just a silly childish dream.

I am a married woman.
I have never felt the things above about my husband. I wish I did. I wonder do I try hard enough. How naive it is to think these things come naturally?

But I was a broken soul when I met my husband and subconsciously he has done his best to keep me broken.

I just don't want to be broken anymore.

I just want you to come and take me away from this.

To hold my hand.
To protect me.
To believe in me.
To believe I am worth believing in.

But it's not going to happen.
Because I am broken and you don't believe.

I feel sad.
I feel stuck.

But most of all i am tired.
Tired of dreaming.
Tired of being.
So very very tired.