My quote to bring about the same point is that we don’t want to be in the same room with someone who is not pleasing, productive, and harmless.
We see, we hear, we smell, we taste, and we feel. Maybe we can handle one or two not being fully pleased, if the pleasure by the other 3 senses outweigh the displeasure from the other 2. Or maybe in you grew up with family that treated you in an unkind way, you may not know any different at first, but when you get a taste of what satisfies you better, you will gravitate towards that.
In the bias of blood relation you may have family that will put up with you at greater lengths than the average stranger. Other times if we choose one person to give of ourselves to, in the case of adoption, we want to honor our project, our goal so to speak, of making someone’s life meaningful. We have the incredible people who act in altruistic ways, to further the survival of our species of mankind, an ideal, a desire that brings THEM pleasure even if that is not the case with majority.
I think that before we are exposed to certain situations we don’t know our selfishness, we don’t know how we act when we are over-stressed, until it happens. And it is only THEN that we’re like, “Woah I’m not enjoying this, I’m actually counting down the minutes for them to go because I need time to myself.” Or times you get so angry you yell and the fight part of the ‘fight or flight’ flares up. We don’t know ourselves until as adults we are faced with survival, money, the avoidance of long-term pain, and the desire for satisfaction. Only then.... it’s like.... damn, I’m not who I thought I was, or who people made me believe I was by how they taught me through their concepts. As time passes we get to know ourselves better and better. We learn how we react when faced with different situations. Only when we get home, take our masks off, and take time to truly reflect... do we realize who we really are.
