I feel this hole inside my heart where they should of been...
I know this is not a question I'm just really upset and need to get this off my chest. I'm 20 years old will be 21 in May. I've suffered severe depression and anxiety practically my entire life. I even went through an eating disorder for years. I was bullied at school and at home. My entire childhood was filled with fighting 24/7 with my parents and my brother. It was so much emotional abuse. My brother and I have a 5 year age difference and he's pretty immature. I mean he's responsible but he just treats people like crap especially girls. my brother and i dont get along at all he was a major bully growing up and i just try to ignore him. I see all these family tv shows and how my friend's have a great relationship with their parents. And it just makes me so angry and sad that I come from a family where love is pretty nonexistent. I'm 21 years old still living at home because I'm scared to go out into this judgemental world. Because I've never been truly loved by anyone other than my dog. I wish I had a supportive loving family. A father that would hug when when times are hard a mother who I can talk to about anything. I'm so broken... It's been a never ending war. I've gone to therapy and I think the next step for me is to go to this wilderness treatment center for struggling young adults. My parents have no idea about any of this but I'm strongly considering it. I just feel so alone ...and it scares me how serious I am when I say that when my dog dies I'm going with him. Parenting is so much more than helping them with their homework or feeding them and making sure they have a roof over their head.. And I know I'm lucky for that but I can't express enough how important it is to be there for your children emotionally. Because kids need that support system otherwise it creates a challenged and unprepared adult. I'm going through so much and it just sucks that for at least 15 years I've had to hold everything in and deal on my own! It's just not fare it just makes me feel unloveable when I see all these loving families and i think why couldn't i have that?
