I Love to Write Its a Passion I Write Poetry
I have been broken but I havn't been beat I have spoken and I won't admit defeat,
faced my en-emy and I faced my fear no matter what he did to me I'm still here he took away my youth and he took away my choice but I now speak my truth cause he couldn't take my voice I can take the pain because i beacame strong he can keep the shame cause that's where it belongs, who I used to be is no longer who I am and if they all refuse to see I do not give a damn I used to feel weak so I would not tell now they'll hear me speak and he can rot in hell, memories i have repressed are getting me depressed but I'm gonna do my best, it's hard and I'm scarred and the pain is real and almost all I feel but I plan to heal. Everyday I grow and even though I know it goes slow I still go. I'm happy go luckily when I'm manic but F*** me when i start to panic then the depression kicks in sad for a minute then I'm manic again, at times i can't catch my breath my mind gets consumed with death not mine, his it could save a lot of kids if i did put him in the ground but my son really needs me around, needs me to love and protect him put him above all others and never neglect him, almost like I can make up for what happened to me by writing and being the best father I can be.but it's hard with C-PTSD bipolor and ocd but I'm not sure cause I'm not insured and damn sure not cured not by a long shot find myself in the wrong spot, so to keep my mind right where it needs to be I have to write these letters to me.
Since writing this I have gotten insured and learned I bpd is borderline personality disorder which I don't have, I thought it meant bipolar disorder which I most certainly do have
faced my en-emy and I faced my fear no matter what he did to me I'm still here he took away my youth and he took away my choice but I now speak my truth cause he couldn't take my voice I can take the pain because i beacame strong he can keep the shame cause that's where it belongs, who I used to be is no longer who I am and if they all refuse to see I do not give a damn I used to feel weak so I would not tell now they'll hear me speak and he can rot in hell, memories i have repressed are getting me depressed but I'm gonna do my best, it's hard and I'm scarred and the pain is real and almost all I feel but I plan to heal. Everyday I grow and even though I know it goes slow I still go. I'm happy go luckily when I'm manic but F*** me when i start to panic then the depression kicks in sad for a minute then I'm manic again, at times i can't catch my breath my mind gets consumed with death not mine, his it could save a lot of kids if i did put him in the ground but my son really needs me around, needs me to love and protect him put him above all others and never neglect him, almost like I can make up for what happened to me by writing and being the best father I can be.but it's hard with C-PTSD bipolor and ocd but I'm not sure cause I'm not insured and damn sure not cured not by a long shot find myself in the wrong spot, so to keep my mind right where it needs to be I have to write these letters to me.
Since writing this I have gotten insured and learned I bpd is borderline personality disorder which I don't have, I thought it meant bipolar disorder which I most certainly do have
36-40, M
