I Wish I Had More Close Friends

I've been under a lot of stress lately with wedding planning, job hunting and my relationships with family and friends. Right now, I don't know why I have this peaceful, optimistic feeling in my heart. But I'm happy I'm feeling this way. I haven't felt like that in a long, long time.
I've been missing the girl I used to call my best friend. She and I were inseparable. I don't know what went so wrong with our friendship that it ended so badly. I miss her so much. She was the only one who understood me and stuck by me while everyone else came and left.
Just the other night I was feeling so depressed. I started missing her a lot more than usual. I looked her up, I tried reaching out to her but she blocked me (even though it was literally all her fault our friendship ended). I felt so bummed out and I wanted to just drive to her house and hug the living shit out of her. My depression ensued a fight between my fiancée and me because I wouldn't tell him what was up with me and why I wouldn't tell him. I still haven't told him why, and maybe I'm wrong for doing that, but would he have believed me when he knows all the bad things that happened between me and her? I highly doubt it.
After everything, I realized, today is her birthday.