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I Am a Thinker

Ive a lot of regrets. The most corroding one I feel coz of my mother. I don't know how to solve this or if ever it'll be solved. But if I ever got one chance to fix something from past, I'd have definitely chosen the moment when she was not attached with my paternal family members. It's unfortunate how we don't know about the future and what it's storing for us.


It's easy to not care, it's easy to think that at least I'm alright even if others falling apart. But something really hurts me, when I realize that the moments of happiness I had got, it came for a price. We perhaps don't realise how a very few people try their best to help us even if it cost them a lot. They don't want a refund for that emotions they invested in us even if you cause pain. Perhaps our willful carelessness that revolves around our legitimate well being does make us forget how we are grinding others and we don't ever realise how much damage they've sustained silently, or, may be we have been too callous to hear their agonizing whispers. Guilty I feel for countless things and for their misery.


I also feel restless for a lot of things, for one woman's feelings which are precious to me, for my mother who doesn't talk much and I don't recognise her anymore; and for those unprocessed thoughts which I accumulated over the years and just ingnored thinking those would be erased, but never happened.


I forgot that memories even if don't stay fresh always, still leave its presence like fossils, suppressed beneath the layers of future and can remind us of everything, till life decides it's over for you.

 
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