I already gave my New Years wishes a couple of days ago. And that was suffice.
I really don't care if I get 0 views here, I swear I really don't. I JUST have to write for my f**king sake. It's hard for me at times to keep a positive attitude in the face of so much sadness and melancholy.
Worked all day today when I'm was meant to be on holiday.
Just got back home now.
My mother is an emotional wreck and is just crying. She suffers more than I dare admit because of the death of my sister and today, she is flooded with memories.
I'm 52. I'm going to spend my new years eve with my 76 year old mother and 90 year old father.
We wont be waiting midnight, not this time. We will dine together quietly. We will reminisce about my sister. Tears will fall.
We will go to bed by 10 at the latest.
My friends that invited be to parties will be having fun. I'll be spending it, grieving.
Things could have turned out differently when I was younger. I could have had a girlfriend. Could have had a family and children of my own.
Things turned out differently.
I'm not bitter, not angry, life NEVER OWED ME ANYHING. Maybe all I deserved was this.
I love my parents, so it's no big deal.
I'll listen to songs, lot's of them. I'll fall asleep with some tune in my head way before midnight :)