What should I do?

Poll - Total Votes: 8

My fault

Friend party host fault

Friend I took fault

None fault

Choose one friend

Loose both

Have both in secret

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You can only vote on one answer.

A good male friend was having a party and asked me to come and to being friends if I want. Sure enough I asked another guy friend to come along as thought they would get along. They even had mutual friends in common. Anyway the party was great, fun and what I exoected also it was quite many people. As I live far I organised before hand to crash at my friend place who was having a party and that was cool. Anyway as the party came to close which was in early morning hours my friend I brought was too wasted to drive home so we asked if he can also stay over and that was fine. Needless to say the night was full of tequila shots and open bar I woke up next to the guy I brought in my bed fully clothed and didn't remember how we got into bed. I asked him and he said I disappeared ( I usually do when I had enough and want my sleep) and when he came to check up on me in my wasted state said " just come and sleep" and so he did. Anyway in the morning when we woke up we went down for breakfast and my other friend who had a party didn't seem happy but didn't want bring anything up. My friend I brought had to go and I stayed longer to catch up with my friend without the party mode. After he said to me that he was upset because when I disappeared he came also looking for me but he saw us in bed together and was shocked , horrified and dissapointed. They are both good platonic friends and nothing ever happened between us also nothing happened between me and myfriend I shared a bed with, we just slept. He said that It was disrespectful but blamed my other friend as he had his own bed to go to he has made for him. I apologised for his hurt feelings and explained and that was that. Couple of weeks later apparently they met at other party and they had an argument about that night as my friend I shared a bed with thinks he/ we did nothing wrong and I am not with any of them romantically to get upset . So now they are both saying if I stay friend with the other they will end our friendship. They want me to choose. I feel pretty upset with both of them and feel like us not fair as honestly we are all good people
Who do you think is wrong if anyone? And what should I do?
I want to take the blame but both of them thinks is not my fault and did nothing wrong.
I just can't make sense of this as we are all good people.

midnightrose · F Best Comment

That is incredibly unfair of them to put you in the middle of their problem with each other. I would tell them you're not going to be given ultimatums about who you continue to have as a friend, especially when you don't feel anybody did anything wrong.

If they choose not to be your friend that's [i]their[/i] choice and they weren't as good a friend as you thought. Perhaps it would be wise not to bring them around each other again out of respect for their dislike of eachother but that would be all I would do. Spend time with each friend separately but be honest about what you will be doing.

greenmountaingal · 70-79, F

You may all be good people. But getting so wasted you woke up in bed with a man you did not plan on sleeping with shows a lack of maturity and common sense for you and the guy (even though you both did not intend anything sexual). As for the host getting upset...more lack of maturity since he has never staked a claim to your attentions. Just decide that having a good time does not require being out of control or hanging around with a guy who gets so stoned he can't find his way to a guest bedroom. I'd ignore both of them and just avoid similar situations in the future.

Awfullybrave · F

@greenmountaingal Your advice is always amazing :) You are right and for sure tequila shots is not my friend and to be fair to myself that was the first time in my life I didn't remember much after drinking but in my drunkard state I
still just went to bed and alone. I can believe though that when my friend came in I just said come to bed either meant my bed or his that I don't remember but it doesnt bother me that I shared a bed with him
They are both good friends and not the type to take advantage on anyone. Yes we can all Blame alcohol. I agree with the level of maturity we have over that incident. My friend said he wasn't wasted to the point of not going into his room he just said I asked him and he did what I asked. Remember we were all in a bad shape due to alcohol indulgence
I feel terrible . I blame myself and no more tequila shots that's for sure lol