Have you ever felt uncomfortable in a friendship?

I have this friend who I treat as a best friend. We were there for each for both sad and happy moments. We saw each other cry and laugh, fail and climb up again. We also have this agreement to open up if we find anything annoying about each other. It used to be a good rule. But lately, it's like she's oversensitive and sees the bad even in the smallest things I do.

It made me ask her if she truly knows me because she tends to misinterpret everything I say and do for the worst. For example, I kept reminding her to watch Avengers Infinity Wars before we watch the End Game because I know she wouldn't understand a thing if she doesn't. Next thing I know, she thinks I'm acting all high and mighty and looking down on her.

I care about her. I truly do. But just the thought of having to adjust to her every whim for her comfort makes me feel like having a personality replacement, one that I would hate because I couldn't be myself around her anymore.

Suddenly, I can't help but think that maybe she doesn't know me as I thought she does. Suddenly, it's too much and it feels suffocating to be her friend. I need air.

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LyricalOne · F

Have you talked to her about how you’re feeling?

Casheyane · F

@LyricalOne Yes. I explained things by context for her to understand I had no ill intent at all. She apologized. But then we got into talking and when I told her I don't understand how she could possibly think those things about me, she gave me a different approach of her reasoning. To be honest, I just wanted her to realize she hurt me by acting like she doesn't know me. Because if she does, then she couldn't possibly think those things. But now it's like she doesn't even get that. A pity I really thought of her as something else.

LyricalOne · F

@Casheyane If you feel you’ve explained yourself and your feelings as clearly as possible, then yes, perhaps an adjustment of expectations is warranted. Sometimes for whatever reason, others just cannot be all we need and want.

Casheyane · F

@LyricalOne Yeah. Thanks :) We're okay now. Called it an impasse. You last sentence hit bull's-eye. I often find myself looking for things in people, and it really hurt when I couldn't find it. But then I heard a quote somewhere that says something like it too. More often than not, it is our expectations that fail us. It doesn't mean we aren't loved though. Thanks for sharing.

Robynthebeautiful

How long have you known her?

Casheyane · F

@Robynthebeautiful Years

Robynthebeautiful

OK.
The other comments and your replying should by now have you thinking things out like expectations.

I have a friend who I have known for years who we consider as besties and we, like you, cried and laughed together and the rest and we have had a few mighty arguments and even a few falling outs, one lasting about 6 months with no contact at all.
We are besties again and maybe that's what is needed with your friend some time out to consider what a friend is.

Casheyane · F

@Robynthebeautiful Yeah. We're still friends, still besties. Just another impasse record. :) But you're right. Sometimes we need time to rethink things and decide we want to move forward.

SW-User

Cut your friend loose. You don't need someone bringing you down.

Casheyane · F

@SW-User Haha. But everybody does it at some point. Cutting them lose would leave one friendless. Now it's more like clearing expectations. Now I know what I can and can't expect from her.

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