How would you feel if your therapist said this?

I was discussing dating and my intimidation with men. How I want to date but don't feel enough.. due to my issues. I liked she Said I don't need to heal all my Issues or be Perfect to date. That men will have issues too. But then She said "You have a lot of anxiety. You may always have it. It is who you are.. "
On one hand i get she meant to kind oF not be ashamed of my disorder. But on the Other hand it is not who I AM. It is a result of trauma and not truly me. I just let it go but not sure how to Feel...how might you feel?

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uncalled4 · 56-60, M

She probably should have said that it's an aspect of who you are, as is the case with millions. Probably billions.

I have zero problem with admitting that anxiety will always be part of who I am, and yet I have learned to manage it to the point it no longer affects my life in any significant way.

It's not as if one day the clouds will part and you will be anxiety-free, because that's not realistic, and that is what I'll bet your therapist meant and did not want to promise you something she can't deliver.

Ironically, it sounds like anxiety might have been what caused your sensitivity to that in the first place. At the root of some of that is the Give A Shit factor, which diminishes greatly over time, so you have that going for you.

Don't be afraid to ask for clarity, or even challenge her if you feel like you're off in the wrong direction. Nothing wrong with that happening occasionally. And, I actually like that for you, like part of your "voice" that was trodden on by narcissists can come to life and you will see the amazing effect it has.

I probably disagree with 90% of everything I've read of Tolle. His wannabe philosophy only goes down well at the bottom of a Hallmark card.

Coralmist · 41-45, F

@uncalled4 Thanks for your thorough response. That is a great point..it can be a part of our life but not BE our life. And I truly do need to start using my voice even if it means ever disagreeing. It is not human to just never disagree and I am living like that..never voicing my opinion too. Ty again.