How did it feel when u got divorced ?

@cherokeepatti good for you.....happiness and feeedom to rest

I am not the rest type.....i need to be out and about.....that also iratates her

@wudifu I felt like a slave to the marriage and he refused to take responsibility for his actions, which were abusive. I had no choice, my health was getting weak. I tried the best I could and he only got worse.

@cherokeepatti abusive how ?

@wudifu He would stay out and drink and come home after I was asleep and curse at me till I woke up (I would pretend that I was still sleeping as long as I could), would threaten violence (but I would have fought back and he knew it so he didn’t carry it out), he would spend all the money in the checking account and then not have money for groceries at times, didn’t spend time as a family, didn’t want me to have friends and would embarrass me if someone came around so alienated them from me, refused to do any chores around the house like maintenance etc. I did as much as I could, kept the yard mowed, had a garden, took care of painting or anything that needed to be done besides cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc.

@cherokeepatti i agree u are much better off without him after all that

@wudifu thank you. I heard some comments from people that didn’t know what was going on that hinted that I didn’t try to save the marriage. It takes two people to make a marriage work.

@cherokeepatti absolutely.....in my case at the moment she doesnt listen and just wants her own way and doesnt speak to me much or give my any attention or love amd she is not ever happy to see me or complimenting me at all....although im the supportive one

@wudifu that’s very sad. Seems like so many are in a marriage of convenience just to get what they want without giving like a marriage should be. My ex-husband is old and lonely now. He had one relationship with a woman who was very sweet and good, that didn’t last two years till she broke up with him. I knew two of her sisters while I was married.

@cherokeepatti but i am still trying to make it work though.....but i think we should go and see a marrsige cousellor.....

@wudifu Maybe you should. I asked my ex to go to a marriage counselor with me and he laughed in my face and pointed to me and said I had the problem with the marriage not him. So I left, told him 2 years before if he ever blamed me for his own actions again that I would divorce him. Nothing ever got resolved because he was unwilling to work on his behaviors or do anything to help the marriage survive.

@cherokeepatti you did the right thing and you did warm him also...so he had time to fix himself

@wudifu He would never admit to doing anything wrong. He laughed at me and pointed his finger and said I had the problem not him. So I waited a few days till he went out of town and moved all of my things into a rental house that a relative’s nephew owned. It worked out really good and was quick too. Like someone was watching out for me through this.

@cherokeepatti exactly the same as my ex. I couldn't have friends, Any money I earnt he spent, I'd be woken up accused of affairs and abused when the money ran out. If I dared to speak up for myself the furniture would be smashed and if anyone bought me a gift he would break it.

@meggie I bought an expensive set of waterless cookware, paid it off about a year and a half after marrying him. Within 3 days he had set one of those new pans on the porch and fed his dog in it. That’s the kind of thing he did, didn’t respect anything I worked hard for or needed. And he had a passive-aggressive way of breaking or ruining something. I had hand-embroidered things that I made that were peppered up with cigarette burns by him for example. About a year after I got married my neighbor warned me not to let him borrow my car because he’d ruin it. It was already a used car with a lot of miles on it.

@meggie I do