Need a reason to keep going

Honestly if only 1 person could tell me what im good for then i'll actually consider staying alive. But for now things aren't looking great to be honest. So firstly im literally a disappointment and i hate my brain so fucking much because i can't even study. I tell myself to sit down and just do it but it won't work. I can't do sports, i suck at them. I'm not talented in anything. My "family" (which doesn't even exist anymore) hates me. My mom doesn't care about my feelings, after 6 months of preparing i told her that i think i might have some kind of disorder and i want to get diagnosed, she told me im totally fine and just making it up as an excuse. I literally hate my life and i have nothing to keep going for. My grades suck and im gonna fail math class which i hate the most since my teacher was verbally and emotionally abusing me for an entire year and no one spoke up or did anything about it. Not even my best friend. That teacher was the reason why i became depressed and eventually self harmed which then got found out and i got sent to the school psychologist. And let me tell you it didn't help. Not even a bit. Im not good for anything and they're trying to convince me. I dont care about anything anymore and they complain on how my mood is so depressing.
I know im not gonna be able to get a good job and my mom probably won't help me out with money. My dad even less likely, he hates me because i suck in school. His wife also hates me and also emotionally abused me, which i couldn't take anymore so i left and never came back to their house. My mom's boyfriend hates me even more, he thinks im just a lazy fuck with no potential whatsoever. So, if after all this you can still tell me that im worth ANYTHING, then go on, i'll listen.

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in10RjFox · M

Education is not going to help you much under the current condition, as I see that you are just undergoing schooling because it has become a custom and norm. And even those best educated, are jobless because they get blinded by their own degree and keep looking for the same job, which is not there. So there is blessing in disguise for everything. Which means that you can start looking for alternatives right away and get involved with others as a friend. Now that you are 18+ I would encourage you to befriend older men and be their FWB. You may not only get some allowance, but may also find a good soul who may take care of you in life. Living-in relationship is so common these days. Your dad, dad's wife & mom and mom's bf, is just too much to bear, and they may just want to push you out of their life. You are forced to live in their visinity, which is where the problem is, so it becomes easy for them to critisize. Start living in stealth mode at home and be more on the open. At least you can know the world better, where you are going to spend the rest of your life.

dubkebab · 51-55, M

@in10RjFox "Befriend older men and be their FWB"?!? What a creepy thing to say.
Or you might choose any of thousands of other things to do with your young life.

in10RjFox · M

@dubkebab why not? Are you some protector or gaurdian for distort gals ? They need the survival skills. When there are so many strippers bar girls and call girls making a decent income and living, why do you think they chose that in the first place?

Are they not your daughters or sisters ?

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thewindupbirdchronicles · 46-50, M

@dubkebab Very crummy advice. I would read his words to say, learn just to give yourself over, be a servant and a sex slave, but I wonder if he understands his words?

in10RjFox · M

@thewindupbirdchronicles it's not how I understand my words but how you understand my words, which shows how crummy the world is in your eyes.

Also means you have no experience of outside world and how people are struggling at home and finding solace in various ways.

I am teaching her to go fish and learn the art of living. But you are the traditional cowards who just give conservative good for nothing advice like stay calm things will change.. but will have no other option.

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in10RjFox · M

@dubkebab and where is your original reply to her? First register your reply to her question, and then comment on others.

dubkebab · 51-55, M

@in10RjFox I get to comment how I see fit and chose to call your line of advice into scrutiny because it reeks or narrowmindedness and danger. When I counsel youth it usually along the lines of "yes,get involved in music,volunteering in the community and learning a trade,but avoid getting involved with drugs so you don't have to go through what I did at your age..."

Ok,I'll grant that FWB can on a rare occasion work out to involve mansions,swimming pools and fabulous wardrobes,but I'd simply advise to get to know oneself and one's motives before jumping into any complicated relationships early in life.

thewindupbirdchronicles · 46-50, M

@in10RjFox You don't even know me, and I have a had a life needing solace. So you can judge my words all you want. I don't talk outside what I know and have felt, so take yourself upon a proverbial hike away with your armchair judgment.

And by the way, your words are borderline, nonsensical and harassing but I have seen this before with you. You would make Plato's cave proud.

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thewindupbirdchronicles · 46-50, M

@in10RjFox Wow, you are a piece yourself, you lack simple compassion and empathy, thus you meet my block. Only I know what I have endured and I know myself well, but thank you.