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Need a reason to keep going

Honestly if only 1 person could tell me what im good for then i'll actually consider staying alive. But for now things aren't looking great to be honest. So firstly im literally a disappointment and i hate my brain so fucking much because i can't even study. I tell myself to sit down and just do it but it won't work. I can't do sports, i suck at them. I'm not talented in anything. My "family" (which doesn't even exist anymore) hates me. My mom doesn't care about my feelings, after 6 months of preparing i told her that i think i might have some kind of disorder and i want to get diagnosed, she told me im totally fine and just making it up as an excuse. I literally hate my life and i have nothing to keep going for. My grades suck and im gonna fail math class which i hate the most since my teacher was verbally and emotionally abusing me for an entire year and no one spoke up or did anything about it. Not even my best friend. That teacher was the reason why i became depressed and eventually self harmed which then got found out and i got sent to the school psychologist. And let me tell you it didn't help. Not even a bit. Im not good for anything and they're trying to convince me. I dont care about anything anymore and they complain on how my mood is so depressing.
I know im not gonna be able to get a good job and my mom probably won't help me out with money. My dad even less likely, he hates me because i suck in school. His wife also hates me and also emotionally abused me, which i couldn't take anymore so i left and never came back to their house. My mom's boyfriend hates me even more, he thinks im just a lazy fuck with no potential whatsoever. So, if after all this you can still tell me that im worth ANYTHING, then go on, i'll listen.
in10RjFox · M
Education is not going to help you much under the current condition, as I see that you are just undergoing schooling because it has become a custom and norm. And even those best educated, are jobless because they get blinded by their own degree and keep looking for the same job, which is not there. So there is blessing in disguise for everything. Which means that you can start looking for alternatives right away and get involved with others as a friend. Now that you are 18+ I would encourage you to befriend older men and be their FWB. You may not only get some allowance, but may also find a good soul who may take care of you in life. Living-in relationship is so common these days. Your dad, dad's wife & mom and mom's bf, is just too much to bear, and they may just want to push you out of their life. You are forced to live in their visinity, which is where the problem is, so it becomes easy for them to critisize. Start living in stealth mode at home and be more on the open. At least you can know the world better, where you are going to spend the rest of your life.
@in10RjFox You don't even know me, and I have a had a life needing solace. So you can judge my words all you want. I don't talk outside what I know and have felt, so take yourself upon a proverbial hike away with your armchair judgment.

And by the way, your words are borderline, nonsensical and harassing but I have seen this before with you. You would make Plato's cave proud.
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@in10RjFox Wow, you are a piece yourself, you lack simple compassion and empathy, thus you meet my block. Only I know what I have endured and I know myself well, but thank you.
Primnproper · 56-60, F
You will have a purpose you just havent found it yet..
There are some questionaires on line to help ascertain if theres a possibility you could have say adhd or aspergers..take a look because they may also suggest numbers you could ring and talk to.
Try not to panic and load even more pressure on to yourself. Face one day at a time as it comes..🤗
Ananke · 26-30, F
You are loved.....deeply. Your life has been...torture. Your life was....DESIGNED to torture you...by some very very wicked spirits who were running things here. I am so so sorry for your pain and suffering. I will take from you...whatever you do not want to bear alone.

Things are....in the process of being corrected right now. Your torture...will end. All will be right again. You will have the life you were always intended to have and deserve. Just a little longer. Please hang in there. I love you ❤
Ananke · 26-30, F
@Ananke Oh you are so sad. Deeply sad. You don't want to die at all. You are just so so so so so so so sad. You think...what did i do to deserve what i went through? What did i do wrong? I must be...bad. A failure.

No! No!! You are...WONDERFUL. You are a JOY a LIGHT. Your light has been dimmed...by terrible circumstances that were beyond your control. You....are wonder. You...are strong. You WILL make it through this. Remember your strength. I will send you strength. I love you always.
Ananke · 26-30, F
@Ananke Oh you are so sad. I am crying. You are so so sad. And...scared. Please. I am ending your torture. Let me comfort you. You were mistreated. This WILL end. You deserved NOTHING that happened to you. It was all SICK TWISTED WRONG. You will be healed. Let me help you to heal. I share your sadness. I feel it. I am...so sorry. So sad. Scared. I'm sorry.
Ananke · 26-30, F
@Ananke You can give me your sadness...I will bear it for you so that you can feel...hope. I will send you....hope and the strength you need to heal. I will send you my love so that it reminds you of your love for yourself. You know you are wonderful. That is why your abuse has hurt you so deeply. You KNOW.....you deserved none of it. And I will confirm this for you. YOU DESERVED NONE OF IT. It will all be corrected. You will be given the joyful life you were always intended to have. I promise you.
Bumbles · 51-55, M
Most of us aren’t great at anything, either. Work on independence and smaller goals over a longer time frame.
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uselessgirl · 18-21, F
@Pressure THANK YOU😭😭😭 You're so so so so so kind i hope everything goes well for you and thank you again you're the best
@uselessgirl no problem sweetie pie.

 
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