Why? Just why

Was having nachos for lunch and for once inside with. People. Noticed a man watching me. He was cute. I instantly got nervous. So my stupid ass decides to ignore and continue to eat. Went to put food in my mouth and it drops. Hits my boob. Slides down. hits my leg and slides on down. All the mixed salsa, sour cream. Guacamole etc. Damn you cheat day. I chance a look to see if he's still watching.
He had his hand covering his mouth and slight shake to shoulders. Pretty sure he saw 😖