Breathe in. Breathe out.

There are just some things that can’t be fixed, I think. I am what I am. I would like to be tougher. Cooler. I mean, not cool like the Fonz kinda cool, but cooler emotionally. I would like more space between my heart and my head so the latter might suffer less from the fallout of the former. I would like to not feel every second quite so acutely. It’s lovely when it’s lovely, of course, but I could give a bit of that which just doesn’t seem to fit anywhere anyway away … gladly really … in exchange for some sense of balance. So everything didn’t feel so much bigger than it is. I feel like one of those tattered flags waving in the wind that looks like it’s been there for decades, only I was brand new last month. I just want to be woven a little more tightly is all, and I don’t seem to have the power to change how I was made. I can just hold on while the light breeze tears at my edges. It feels awfully discouraging sometimes. Defective and disappointing. Think I just need to back off to half mast for a spell and refocus on the grip. It is a discouraging, disappointing defect, but it is not all there is. Bah 😝