Sexless marriages are often the reasons for disturbed bedrooms in the later years of partnership..

Great question. I think of the 50s for men as a time for assessing their lives in general. Successes and failures and where they are in fulfilling the expectations they had for themselves as kids and young adults. AKA midlife crises as they own up to who they are Vs who/what they want to be. About everything, $$, family, kids, the foot prints they left behind, the path they are onto for the future.

If that midlife path is heading below the horizon there may be a feeling that their spouses are leaving them behind and one way to respond is to retreat. Like going company Christmas party and the boss hands out bonus checks, and everyone gets one but you. Do you celebrate or do you leave the party early?

Sex IMO tends to follow the path of one’s life in general. The more upbeat the more sex, the more downbeat the less. The more confidence in the future the more sex.

It’s different for men and women. Women don’t seem to have a similar midlife crises.

I'm in the opposite situation and it has been that way for the whole marriage. However, I think most men do start losing interest with their partners earlier than women. Must be testosterone levels decreasing?

My wife lost interest in her 40's 🤷‍♂

The fine lubricant gel makes the difference. There was a time when and women weren't engaging to sex more frequently from their mid fifties. The man's power to go beyond 8 minutes become an old story. A womans pussy doesn't go wet and slippery after her menopause.
Now a woman can go a shop her gel but she doesn't stop her shopping there... She finds some toys too on the shelf she could buy with a smile.

Just the way they are wired. Men and women. I would never again partner with a non- sexual man. Intimacy and sex are vitsl to me. One would think men would try all manner of things to please their wives. Those that do not are abusive. Marriage does not mean suffering because one member- no pun intendd- cannot or will not perform. Speaking from experience. Lack of intimacy can cause medical conditions, stress, mental illnesses, etc. Divorce is an option. So is an open marriage or a FWB. Or being unhappy til one of you dies.

How about the opposite!! I'm ready for sex anytime....the wife...not so much!! So I feel for anyone in a sexless marriage!!!

Men are tired and woman are coming out if their child bearing years. That's why they don't match up early on either.

I can only speak for myself but I encourage my wife to be as social as she pleases. I don’t own her, or lease her or control her. Life is short, live.

You have a good point, but I think it's more an individual thing just as libido is to varying degrees. It naturally changes with age, if it didn't there wouldn't be Viagra. It stands to reason it won't be as intense as it was in our twenties+. But for some/me, passed middle age, it's still defo alive and well.

my wife told me no more in the bed room or anyplace else ,,, she started slowing down after the children ,,, i am the one that still enjoys

yea I was just saying in another post that sexless marriages are the top reason why marriage isnt worth it

people sell it like once you are married you are done but you really arent, so whats the point of it?

I was married before and I had to go through that to understand, even one of my friends wanted to stop me and I didnt listen

Sexless marriages have little to do with gender. I’m divorced because of a clinically sexless marriage. My ex was basically frigid.

To me, withholding is a form of abuse. People need closeness and sexual comfort, including release.

If your husband can’t provide that happiness for you, get it elsewhere. For god sakes, you’re human. The “vows” of, “Love, honor and obey.” work both ways.

Because after 50, when men have been with enough women, they start to wise up and realize that the so-called "reward" is not worth the daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly cost in aggravation.

My experience was just the opposite. For the last 12 years of my 32 year marriage, my wife was entirely non-sexual. She had no interest in sex or any kind of physical intimacy. I still needed and wanted both, which she resented. The marriage ended because of it.

I think women should be actively encouraged to pursue personal interests from day 1.

But everything is a compromise.

Dad's have the role defined by their children.
But Moms will always be Moms so many women may feel permanently tied by the apron strings.

Happily married and sexless, at least together. We are free to date other men.
We love each other but it's chabged over the years

Not there yet but i can only imagine the frustration ...

It's fair to say that the same situation often occurs for the female partner. I'd argue that's far more common and often occurs earlier in life. Either way, it's a real shame and miss matched sex drives coupled with a possessive view of sex lead to so much heart ache and deep frustration.

Ummm. We aren’t all like that

Society makes unrealistic and irrational expectations of both parties. These matters should be discussed and worked out before the contract is signed . .

Does that mean hubby has allowed you to find satisfaction elsewhere?

peopel shoulk dnever be married for more than 20 years, it gets boring, we need new lovers

Maybe something is missing, like emotional connection. Not everything is about intercourse.🙄

I'm sure people lose interest when they get to a certain age. My husband's mom and dad don't have sex anymore but they're 80. And he can't anymore now anyway and I doubt she wants to anymore. It just happens.

It happens both ways. I'm the one still as interested as ever but wife could care less.

I’m the opposite. My wife turned it off years ago. Not me.

Going by all the men that end up in my inbox I would say it’s the opposite. The wives don’t want to have s e x anymore so they look for it elsewhere.

And plenty of woman drop off after they go through the change because their hormones change.

I'm just the opposite....late 50's she didn't like it or want it and was awful when I initiated it...so I stopped it and we now sleep in separate bedrooms and I miss it.

When you find the answer, please let me know!

Simple.

Two different hormone profiles.

What a sad painful subject this is, regardless of gender.

life is short, don't waste your time, look for out source.

Just the opposite for me.....she is done with sex of any kind after having children....many years ago and I'm the one that still wants it twice a day