Adults 40+ any advice?
Is taking revenge worth it on someone who cheated on you? I’m conflicted between genuinely moving on or taking revenge.
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mindlessdrifter · M
DunningKruger · 61-69, M
LeahLovee · 22-25, C
@DunningKruger that is so true.
SW-User
You need closure, not revenge, per se.
That in itself may look like revenge to an outsider, at first. If they hurt you it’s fair to hurt them back in a proportional, safe manner. As a short run solution, that indeed may be needed to regain your self-esteem. If you take the risk, use your intelligence and be strategic about it, so that you don’t end up hurting yourself further. It’s ok to make mistakes in the process. That’s how you learn to become stronger.
In the long run though, making amends is what’s needed to attain inner peace. Give yourself all the time in the world to heal. Best of luck.
(Sorry I’m under 40)
That in itself may look like revenge to an outsider, at first. If they hurt you it’s fair to hurt them back in a proportional, safe manner. As a short run solution, that indeed may be needed to regain your self-esteem. If you take the risk, use your intelligence and be strategic about it, so that you don’t end up hurting yourself further. It’s ok to make mistakes in the process. That’s how you learn to become stronger.
In the long run though, making amends is what’s needed to attain inner peace. Give yourself all the time in the world to heal. Best of luck.
(Sorry I’m under 40)
LeahLovee · 22-25, C
@SW-User I did make an effort to make amends but apparently it’s not enough I deserve everything bad that happened
DownTheStreet · 51-55, M
God, no - unless you accept that “the best revenge is living well.” As long as you harbor anger, the person or event holds power over you. Don’t let it.
When the pain fades, and you’re ready, carefully try to understand why your partner cheated. It’s not to place blame or find fault, but to gain greater insight into human nature.
When the pain fades, and you’re ready, carefully try to understand why your partner cheated. It’s not to place blame or find fault, but to gain greater insight into human nature.
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DownTheStreet · 51-55, M
@LeahLovee life is about living forward
LeahLovee · 22-25, C
@DownTheStreet that’s so true ❤️
blackarcher256 · 61-69, M
No, move on. It might be satisfying in the moment when you get it. But that satisfaction will be fleeting. It won’t heal your wounded heart or pride, and ultimately it will diminish you as a person of honor.
blackarcher256 · 61-69, M
@LeahLovee Hugs…I truly believe you’re making the right decision. And I do believe in Karma, sadly it just doesn’t seem to happen as fast as we think it should.
Maybe someday, I’ll share my story with you…the list of my ex’s transgressions and betrayals….the revenge I could have taken, but ultimately decided to forego.
Maybe someday, I’ll share my story with you…the list of my ex’s transgressions and betrayals….the revenge I could have taken, but ultimately decided to forego.
LeahLovee · 22-25, C
@blackarcher256 did they face any karma?
blackarcher256 · 61-69, M
@LeahLovee Not yet…but I have faith.
IM5688 · 61-69, M
Taking revenge will only make things worse and also make the cheater think you still care for them.
Let it go and move on. Remember, you don't fight fire with fire, you fight fire with water.
Let it go and move on. Remember, you don't fight fire with fire, you fight fire with water.
CactusJackManson · M
No. You need to move on. Revenge only causes more damage, hurt feelings, and affects more people than just you and the person you're taking revenge on.
Orangehotrod · 61-69, M
You can but why! If you sold on moving on you should! My wife cheated on me and we’re still together! Everyone is different.
LeahLovee · 22-25, C
@Orangehotrod do you think she cheated again, what helped you guys move forward and be better?
Evened · 51-55, M
No, revenge might be satisfying for the moment, but it's a waste of energy for someone who doesn't even deserve that much attention.
TheOthetAcc · 36-40, M
When you can truly move on despite your desire for revenge, then you can truly say that you have matured.
smiler2012 · 56-60
@LeahLovee be the bigger person move forward and do not your spiteful and angry side rule your head and look for revenge
SW-User
The best revenge is moving on and living your best life. Level up and he'll see what he lost knowing he wont get you back.
hippyjoe1955 · 61-69, M
Revenge is never a good idea. It never works and you only wind up hurting yourself more.
Justgirl · 36-40, F
No. Its bad enough its gonna be their Karma. You dont need the same
Dumbman · 36-40
Leave. If he/she cheated ignore and leave. That’s best revenge
Adogslife · 61-69, M
Just move on. That’s the sweetest revenge.
NoThanksLeon · M
It is YOUR dignity at stake.
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Move on
LeahLovee · 22-25, C
@Pinkstarburst trying ❤️😔
BLP11520 · 61-69, M
Move on
Lilnonames · F
Leave them, it's not worth the hassle.
LeahLovee · 22-25, C
@NativePortlander1970 i know i know but so no consequences or am I the only once facing those
@LeahLovee It can often backfire and make you look bad.
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