My brother is in a relationship where he is bullied

And has rules. I can call him but if his girlfriend is there he won't answer. If I actually get to talk to him that means she is either not home or he is driving somewhere and she's not around. Idk why he can't stick up for himself.

Yesterday was the anniversary of our sister's death. I posted a poem on FB. There were messages and heart emoji for me. But I saw my brother give a thumbs up. I started crying because my sister would be disappointed in him and I am too. Anyone have any insight of why he stays with a woman like that?

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OlderSometimesWiser · F

That’s very sad, I’m so sorry. First thought that occurs me is that he doesn’t feel he deserves any better.

melissa001 · 51-55, F

@OlderSometimesWiser but he wasnt like this when he was with his previous girlfriend. He's nice, caring had a great job and is handsome. He's never been shy or needy. He can do better.

OlderSometimesWiser · F

@melissa001 Absolutely. Any way you can get him alone and talk to him about it? Does he still have a great job? As another user pointed out, could it be financial reasons?

melissa001 · 51-55, F

@OlderSometimesWiser I've been talking to him since she moved about why he stays in that relationship. He just blows it off and trys to defend her. He was in the hospital with COVID and was almost put on a ventilator. He nearly died. So since she was not aloud in the hospital because of COVID I talked to him everyday. He seems so much happier and open about about our conversations. But he made excuses for why she acts that way. She had a job when she moved in but quit soon after. For almost 5 years she never worked. This year she finally got a job. IDK why.
My brother broke his back before he met her and it has given him problems since then. His job was with AT&T climbing poles. So eventually couldn't work. He eventually lost his job. His back hurts so bad that he is now on disability. And I don't think they are making ends meet, so she had to get a job.

OlderSometimesWiser · F

@melissa001 Wow, he’s been through a lot. That can really make a person feel vulnerable. Being disabled, in pain, unable to work, financially stressed, certainly doesn’t seem like he’d be in a position to find someone else, the thought of being alone must seem quite scary. She might just feel like the lesser of the two evils. Trauma such as he’s been through can really change people.

melissa001 · 51-55, F

@OlderSometimesWiser very true. Thank you.