Do you ever wonder if the One who made you designed you to attain happiness?
Or is it something you're meant to constantly chase until you just stop believing?
Sometimes, humans become bitter at God.
I don't know if I am. Not bitter [i]but...something[/i].
Like I still believe. But I've started to wonder if His purpose for me constitutes of using me to provide for others...
But as for my own wants and happiness...I feel ignored...like my own selfish needs and longings don't matter. Is it truly selfish though to want to live a life being able to live the way you want? To achieve and do the things you wish to do? Be responsible for your own life and not having to tip toe on your want for the sake of having to take care of people who should long have been able to support themselves?
I am a human being...sometimes I question if they see it.
A daughter.
A child.
A woman.
My own person.
Not just a freaking soldier. Not just a money maker or a caregiver.
I am a human being with my own needs and wants too.
So why do I feel like I'm the only one who sees that? Like my soul is invisible beyond their need of me...
Sometimes I understand Peter Pan. Sometimes all I do is dream of freedom.
Since when did I become someone who dreams of death like a sweet escape?
How damning.
How ungrateful.
But then...how do you stop feeling it?
Sometimes, humans become bitter at God.
I don't know if I am. Not bitter [i]but...something[/i].
Like I still believe. But I've started to wonder if His purpose for me constitutes of using me to provide for others...
But as for my own wants and happiness...I feel ignored...like my own selfish needs and longings don't matter. Is it truly selfish though to want to live a life being able to live the way you want? To achieve and do the things you wish to do? Be responsible for your own life and not having to tip toe on your want for the sake of having to take care of people who should long have been able to support themselves?
I am a human being...sometimes I question if they see it.
A daughter.
A child.
A woman.
My own person.
Not just a freaking soldier. Not just a money maker or a caregiver.
I am a human being with my own needs and wants too.
So why do I feel like I'm the only one who sees that? Like my soul is invisible beyond their need of me...
Sometimes I understand Peter Pan. Sometimes all I do is dream of freedom.
Since when did I become someone who dreams of death like a sweet escape?
How damning.
How ungrateful.
But then...how do you stop feeling it?
