Abuse and what fueled my career and life to this present day. . I could write a book on this topic. I was raised by a German immigrant father to the US that was partly raised Hitler Youth in Germany prior to World War Two ending and abandoned when the Russians invaded his East German town. My father was 7 years old and left with his 5-year-old brother. The Russians beat and abused them until handed over to the West German Government and reunited with his father in West Germany at ages 14 and 12 from an East German orphanage. My grandfather survived the entire war as an officer in the German Army and surrender to the American Army at the end of the war and was evil and nasty. He beat my father and propagated hate into him until he ran away at age 16 with his younger brother once they found their mother. So, at age 20 he immigrated to the US bringing hate and prejudice and bloody beatings with terrible verbal abuse to his children (Me and my siblings). I stopped those beatings myself at age 16 via my own strength and skills gained from sports (American football and wrestling). We were partly raised inner city from 1970 to 1974 where I grew up with racial street gang fist fights every now and again someone was stabbed or beaten with a bat club or pipe, they were not shooting each other back then.
So, I turned the violence I knew deeply into sports and was a terror on the football field, and became a state high school wrestling champion, and in high school became a bully ass beater in the drop of a hat through the mentoring a couple friends not to be a thug. Turned down multiple college scholarships to enter the US Army for the next 27 years of my life from October 1984 to April 22, 2011. Been to war and done horrible things to the enemy seen the worst man can do. Tried to save and end lives including doing CPR on an 18-month-old and having it die in my hands, found children beaten to death and abused sexually. Taken life via just my hands and saved a few. I know the physical feeling of puncturing a human's body with a knife. Lost soldiers and friends. I know the smell and taste of human blood misted into the air over animal blood and can tell you the difference blind folded. As well as the Oder of dead humans over animals as well as burnt ones. And had 12 major surgeries for my injuries during the 27 years that forced my Retirment.
I have counselled extensively for PTSD and still do. I was married and divorced from a mentally abusive cheating wife that I never harmed or cheated on, and my kids came to be raised by me at their request, and they never experienced what I did as a child. Not hate or prejudice taught, or abuse given.
Once they left my home that is when I finally could develop my Willa side, I always have had but suppressed in fear of father friends and Army persecution. I remain 100% heterosexual to this day, but Willa helps me cope and see beauty. When as William I look into the mirror, I see all the abuse and death including my son's suicide at age 21 after he joined the US Army. Willa lets me see beauty and to escape the other stuff.
So, I turned it into a career and did not pass it to my children.
This is a trail to see how this white board thing works on here. So far, I only opened up two cooking recipes to see what kind of response I get on my white board.
WillaKissing I took a simple meal and tweaked it from my mother.
Pork chop casserole is what she called it, and now so do I. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. I use bone in pork chops for better flavor.
1. I take a glass baking pan (Anchor Hocking glass pan 8 inches by 8 inches if eating alone or 14 inches by 10 inches if I have guests), and place a layer of pork chops in first, and season the pork chops with garlic and other seasonings I like.
2. Then in the 8"x8" pan I spread one can of 10.5 oz. of condensed cream of mushroom soup evenly on top of the pork chops. the 14'x10" would take a 26 oz. can of condensed cream of mushroom soup. If you do not like mushrooms, then use cream of celery soup.
3. Then Optional I spread sliced mushrooms on top, then one 12 oz. bag of frozen of Broccoli a Cauliflower bits on the 8"x8" pan and two bags on the 14"x10" pan.
4. Then I take a bag of tater tots and make a single layer cover over the entire surface and place in the preheated oven (350 Degrees) for one hour and thirty minutes to get the tater tots golden brown and crispy.
5. Take out of the oven and cover the tater tots with a layer of shredded Colby Jack cheese and pop back into the oven just enough to melt the cheese to your liking five minutes to 8 minutes for me.
6. take out of the oven and serve. I like to spread sour creme on top of my serving and I add it just before eating because sour creme is not to everyone's liking (Your choice really either in the cooking phase or post cooking is to my liking) salt and pepper and eat.
Here is my recipe. It's my own creation. It's good. It's easy, and all just store bought stuff. 4 cans of diced tomatoes. 14.5 oz. 1 can of diced green chiles 7 oz. 1 can of tomato paste 6 oz. 1 can of dark kidney beans. 1 can of light kidney beans. 1 box of Carroll Shelby's Chilli Kit. 1 can of Tomato juice 64 oz, 1 dash of Oregano 1 small dash of ground Black peppercorn. 1 small dash of minced garlic. 1 1/2 lbs of beef roast. 1 lb of ground sausage.
Dice the beef roast into 1/2 inch cubes. (Deer is even better). Then cook in skillet and drain grease, Put them in an 8 qt. Crockpot. Brown 1 lb of sausage in skillet, dice into larger chunks, drain the grease. Put it in the 8 qt. crockpot. Drain the juice from both cans of light and dark kidney beans and put them in the crock pot. Put drained can of 7 oz. green chilis in crockpot. Pour the entire contents of 4 cans of diced tomatoes. (Do not drain). Open all of the internal packages of the Carroll Shelby Chili kit, and pour them into the crockpot.(ignore the directions). Pour in the 64 Oz can of tomato juice. Add the dash of Oregano (apprx 1/2 tsp). Add the dash of Black Pepper( apprx 1/2 tsp). Add the dash of minced garlic (apprx 1/2 tsp). Have crockpot on high temp setting and stir occasionally till almost boiling. Then turn to low and eat. I like to actually drain the grease so dry that I will actually stir around some paper towels to absorb excess grease and I will actually put about 10 or so unground peppercorn seeds into the chili. It will make your taste buds go bazzerk. This chili is like the majority of my friends. Thick and chunky. (Notice my wooden spatula). It stands at a 45掳 angle.
