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wtfgirl001

31-35, F

United States

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A new awakening

I'm so grateful for today. Back on the workout train, took a quick break, but haven't given up. Thought about my ex today, but I didnt call. I did a gratitude exercise, and thought about the things that I was able to experience with him, and felt...

Finding My Light

I'm finding my power again... I know that it is essential not to play the victim role. I am always just learning from life. Some people say that they learn from mistakes, but I wouldn't even call the occurrences mistakes, because they weren't. I...

Just keep going... stay positive.

I think I missed yesterday in reflecting on small wins, so I will write 6 today (3 for each day). Yesterday 1. I called to check on some properties to lease to start up my small side business. 2. I called my dad's ex girlfriend, an 81 year old...

I'm going to try to reflect each day on my accomplishments for the day. Hopefully they get better over time, and hopefully I stick with this. I was reading that reflecting over the successes of your day can help build self-efficacy and increase one's...

My kind of poison

I'm on day 6 of working out. Feeling much better, but still feeling a void from AJ. I really did like him. I officially blocked him today, he asked me to let him know if I was going to, so I did. At first it felt good, but now it hurts knowing I...

Barbed Wire Heart

I have been learning how to self-soothe a lot more recently. Not particularly because I've wanted to, but because situations have demanded it. I think that in my childhood, perhaps my mother was too responsive, so I grew up with a core belief that...

Just asking for a friend

Have you ever felt like there wasn't a single piece of yourself worth loving? Like you've desecrated every level of self respect that you might've had, and let the world eat away at you until nothing was left? Just asking for a friend... I don't...

All out of life boats

I stepped away from the relationship a few weeks ago. I don't even feel like typing out the full reason why anymore to catch you up on why. It just feels like a waste of time now. Ultimately, I told him I needed time to continue working on myself....

Crazy, stupid, love

So... we (AJ and I) have had some ups and downs during this adjustment period. The start of our relationship was hot and heavy, and I think he was just looking out for me in slowing that down. During that period, I took his physical distance as a...

Ghost of Christmas Past

Oh my god, this is always how it goes. It's been several months since I've spoken to N.D. (the 40-something year old guy) and always around Christmas he messages me and tried to re-ignite something. Last year we hadn't talked for nearly half a year,...

Learning more about each other

I met AJ's family this week. They were very warm and funny. I always tend to biff first impressions, so I didn't talk a lot and mainly smiled while trying to not to eat my meal in a displeasing manner. So basically ended up shuffling the food this...

Closing the space between us

I really want to say that I love him, but I'm holding off. That's what it feels like in my heart, but I am going to listen to the logical part of my brain and remember that I dont truly know him yet. Is it possible to love someone you don't know?...

When you love a stranger

... So I've been visiting with some of my girlfriends recently, and oh my god, it is so revitalizing! I don't know why I allowed myself to become an island for so long. Well, in the midst of this... I become curious about the guy that I was seeing......

I have decided to say yes to myself today

I am reconnecting with the person that I want to be. Getting my house in order (literally cleaning, lol). Working out, and I reached out to some positive friends, because I've decided to be more discerning about who I allow into my life. I tended to...

If you are leaving a toxic relationship...

Is it better to let them know you are done or just stop answering their calls? Everytime I begin to heal, it's like he knows and tries to call or text me. Then the call isn't even about anything. No apology. Just trying to act like nothing happened...

Finding Thanks in Heartache

In order for me to move on, I cannot feel resentment. Resentment will not allow me to have my heart open and in the right place to receive positive relationships that may be out there for me. Although I don't need to tell the person (AJ) that I...

Working on Loving Myself

Just getting back from my trip. I had to leave town to refresh my mind and spirit. I am feeling rejuvenated and ready to become more present in my life once again. I have to be honest with myself. I still have a lot of work to do on myself. I need...

Does everyone deserve a second chance?

This guy messaged and called me last night, and I feel indifferent about it. It used to make me so excited when my phone would light up and I would smile at the sight of a message from him, but now he's broken my heart and I've allowed my feelings...

Timing is everything

He told me that he wished he knew me earlier, before his heart was broken so many times that it became hard for him to love again. While he was holding me one night, he looked into my eyes with such admiration, mixed with what seemed to be a tinge...

At least I didn't drag it out this time

It sucks to do the right thing sometimes.

There's still space in my heart for him

We talked last night. I had been feeling unsure in the relationship, so I took a step back to have some time to think. He had messaged me 3 times that day. Once in the morning, once in the afternoon, and once in the evening. When I didn't answer, he...

Protecting My Peace

I'm starting to feel a bit more like myself... like, my OLD self, way back when I was 21 and the world was a bit brighter. I think in everything that has happened in my life it has taken me down a lot of roads in the healing process. When I was 22,...

Focusing on Myself

I just had an amazing day today. I focused on myself and let the anxiety from my current situationship fade away. I cleaned the house, completed a workout, took a hot bath and put on a facial mask, and called my family members on the phone. It felt...

Pulling the breaks

I'm becoming so much more aware of myself. I really don't know how else to describe it, but I am finally beginning to notice my pitfalls in the moment, and I am correcting them just as fast. If something doesn't feel right to me in a relationship,...

Okay, last post for the night

This is the goodnight song he texted me tonight:

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