Today I saw my long lost brother that I haven't seen in 7 years
I also saw my mom whom I haven't seen for a few years either.
It's a long story but my mom gave him up when she couldn't take care of him. He was about 8 or 9 at the time & he went to live with his dad. His dad was on drugs too though & one day we just didn't hear from him anymore. All contact was lost so my mom started searching around to find him & weeks quickly turned into years. Eventually she found out her ex husband was in prison. Which left us with the question, "so where is our little brother?"
2 years ago my mom reached out to me to say she finally found our brother. I wasn't talking to her at that time so I didn't respond but I did look into the info she gave me. I confirmed that was definitely my brother but he was part of a family that looked like they adopted multiple kids as their own. It didn't seem like my brother had his own social media & for some reason I got the feeling he might not have access to social media or if he does have a phone, his usage was probably restricted. Don't ask me how I got that feeling from family photos alone but I did.
For all I know, it could be a weird family or it could be a good one. I never reached out to the family because I didn't wanna be weird or cause issues. But my brother was 15 at the time... I figured if he really wanted to find us he could do it. He remembers all our names & faces. So I just waited & hoped he would reach out someday.
A week ago he found our mom on Pinterest (random, I know) but he reached out to ask if she remembers him. She gave him her phone number & he called her but he cried throughout most of the phone call. I still hadn't talked to my mom in years so my sister told me about that phone call. It broke my heart to hear that he asked our mom if she remembers him. It just makes me imagine how abandoned & forgotten he must feel.
Our mom & his dad were happily married when he was born. They loved him & he got spoiled a lot. This was back when my mom actually lived a normal life for a period of time. They split when he was 6 or 7 & my mom had him for a few years. She was back on drugs & she struggled to feed him or take him to school after a while. So that's why she gave him up. But his dad wasn't much better either. He was also on drugs & he was a dealer. So living with him wasn't a much better environment but that was his only option. I guess by the time his dad went to prison, my little brother had nobody left. His dad already cut all contact with us before that so I'm guessing that's how he ended up with a foster family. It makes me sad to think about how his life started off so happy & normal then it all spiralled & went to shit before he even became a teenager.
Anyway, my mom found out where he goes to school & that he was graduating. She found out where the graduation was taking place & what time. My sister gave me all the info & so I planned to show up even though our mom was there & he had no idea we were even coming. For me it wasn't about my mom. I just wanted to be there for my brother to show him we never forgot about him. Even if we didn't get to see him up close I would've been happy just to see him walk.
But after it ended we tried to search for him in the sea of people. It was at the Cardinals Stadium so it was PACKED. I broke away from my family to go search on my own because I was following my gut. Sure enough, I found him. I immediately got nervous as hell but I grabbed my gf to bring her with me to meet him. He didn't recognize me at first until I said my name while I shook his hand. He smiled sorta nervously & I could tell it's because his foster mom was behind him. But he immediately hugged me & we talked only for a sec until he said he had to go. As he walked away he looked back at me & smiled a really big smile. A REAL smile, not like the first one he gave when he shook my hand. I think he did that because that's when his foster mom wasn't looking.
My gf immediately called my sister to tell her we found our brother so her & my mom scrambled to go find him in the parking lot before he left. When he saw them he stopped walking & his foster mom continued. I guess she disappeared back to her car. But my brother stayed there & hugged everybody. It was just our mom, our sister, & our brother. Plus his 2 baby nieces that he got to meet for the first time 馃槍 he seemed really happy. My mom & sister cried. Then he gave us all his phone number before he left again.
I felt a mix of different emotions today. I felt happy but sad & also super nervous. I even felt guilty for him feeling so forgotten. Not that it's my fault but I love all of my brothers & sisters so I feel sad we didn't get to have that bond. He knew us & loved us for half his life then we were all gone without a trace. I know I had it hard growing up so I just imagine what his life has been like. I know if he stayed with our mom or his dad it wouldn't have been better. So I honestly hope he's comfortable & adjusting to life nicely. I hope we get to have a relationship & I can talk to him about everything. I won't force it though I'll just let him come to it on his own.
It's a long story but my mom gave him up when she couldn't take care of him. He was about 8 or 9 at the time & he went to live with his dad. His dad was on drugs too though & one day we just didn't hear from him anymore. All contact was lost so my mom started searching around to find him & weeks quickly turned into years. Eventually she found out her ex husband was in prison. Which left us with the question, "so where is our little brother?"
2 years ago my mom reached out to me to say she finally found our brother. I wasn't talking to her at that time so I didn't respond but I did look into the info she gave me. I confirmed that was definitely my brother but he was part of a family that looked like they adopted multiple kids as their own. It didn't seem like my brother had his own social media & for some reason I got the feeling he might not have access to social media or if he does have a phone, his usage was probably restricted. Don't ask me how I got that feeling from family photos alone but I did.
For all I know, it could be a weird family or it could be a good one. I never reached out to the family because I didn't wanna be weird or cause issues. But my brother was 15 at the time... I figured if he really wanted to find us he could do it. He remembers all our names & faces. So I just waited & hoped he would reach out someday.
A week ago he found our mom on Pinterest (random, I know) but he reached out to ask if she remembers him. She gave him her phone number & he called her but he cried throughout most of the phone call. I still hadn't talked to my mom in years so my sister told me about that phone call. It broke my heart to hear that he asked our mom if she remembers him. It just makes me imagine how abandoned & forgotten he must feel.
Our mom & his dad were happily married when he was born. They loved him & he got spoiled a lot. This was back when my mom actually lived a normal life for a period of time. They split when he was 6 or 7 & my mom had him for a few years. She was back on drugs & she struggled to feed him or take him to school after a while. So that's why she gave him up. But his dad wasn't much better either. He was also on drugs & he was a dealer. So living with him wasn't a much better environment but that was his only option. I guess by the time his dad went to prison, my little brother had nobody left. His dad already cut all contact with us before that so I'm guessing that's how he ended up with a foster family. It makes me sad to think about how his life started off so happy & normal then it all spiralled & went to shit before he even became a teenager.
Anyway, my mom found out where he goes to school & that he was graduating. She found out where the graduation was taking place & what time. My sister gave me all the info & so I planned to show up even though our mom was there & he had no idea we were even coming. For me it wasn't about my mom. I just wanted to be there for my brother to show him we never forgot about him. Even if we didn't get to see him up close I would've been happy just to see him walk.
But after it ended we tried to search for him in the sea of people. It was at the Cardinals Stadium so it was PACKED. I broke away from my family to go search on my own because I was following my gut. Sure enough, I found him. I immediately got nervous as hell but I grabbed my gf to bring her with me to meet him. He didn't recognize me at first until I said my name while I shook his hand. He smiled sorta nervously & I could tell it's because his foster mom was behind him. But he immediately hugged me & we talked only for a sec until he said he had to go. As he walked away he looked back at me & smiled a really big smile. A REAL smile, not like the first one he gave when he shook my hand. I think he did that because that's when his foster mom wasn't looking.
My gf immediately called my sister to tell her we found our brother so her & my mom scrambled to go find him in the parking lot before he left. When he saw them he stopped walking & his foster mom continued. I guess she disappeared back to her car. But my brother stayed there & hugged everybody. It was just our mom, our sister, & our brother. Plus his 2 baby nieces that he got to meet for the first time 馃槍 he seemed really happy. My mom & sister cried. Then he gave us all his phone number before he left again.
I felt a mix of different emotions today. I felt happy but sad & also super nervous. I even felt guilty for him feeling so forgotten. Not that it's my fault but I love all of my brothers & sisters so I feel sad we didn't get to have that bond. He knew us & loved us for half his life then we were all gone without a trace. I know I had it hard growing up so I just imagine what his life has been like. I know if he stayed with our mom or his dad it wouldn't have been better. So I honestly hope he's comfortable & adjusting to life nicely. I hope we get to have a relationship & I can talk to him about everything. I won't force it though I'll just let him come to it on his own.
