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Love & Attraction

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Okay help a nilla out

When a guy:

- cooks for you
- mows and edges for you (for free ofc)
- spends time, money and effort to come see you 29 miles away
- makes you feel super special on your bday
- kisses you like he means it
- says he is dating only you and appreciates when you say the same

Yet he:

- says he doesn't want a relationship right now

Because he:

- is not where he wants to be in life yet
- thinks it's too soon

But you, the woman, feel:

- he could level up WITH you
- he isn't taking you off the market to prevent other guys from sweeping you off your feet
- any time you have to wonder, that is kiiinda your answer
- he isn't trying as hard as he used to...

...that is a fuck boy situationship right??

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Matt85 · 36-40, M

Maybe he is just trying to be chill 🤔😎

Not saying it's my doing at all but a while back I prayed you'd find someone and that maybe they would move in with you, cause you needed a new house mate at the time. I hope figure stuff out. :)

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foldedunfolding · 41-45, F

@Matt85 it's crazy though..i prayed for good friends to replace the ones i had to cut out after 6 or 7 years of friendship..and now i have prayer warriors even when i dont ask for them

Matt85 · 36-40, M

@foldedunfolding Yes, you were quite troubled about your situation and that troubled me so I prayed.

foldedunfolding · 41-45, F

@Matt85 awww that is so real..thank you my G

Straylight · 31-35, F

Sounds kinda like he’s “dating” you but keeping his options open.

foldedunfolding · 41-45, F

@Straylight exactly :(

Bexsy

Well shit. Sounds like he needs to decide or move along. He can't have both ways. Keep you to himself. But he keeps options open. You *know how i feel about that beautiful mama 😕

foldedunfolding · 41-45, F

@Bexsy yeah girl and i would give you the same advice, were you in this position..sigh.

Justafantasy · M

Question. Mows and edges? The lawn or a sexual thing.

Could be unseen details good or bad. I'd think he has something unfinished he wants done before admitting to being in a relationship. Business/school/divorce etc.

Sometimes it's best to enjoy and not question everything.

foldedunfolding · 41-45, F

@Justafantasy lawn love lol..and he is definitely not married..but i do see that he wants to move up in his career. he only makes a slight bit less than me though..that kind of thing so does not bother me.

Justafantasy · M

@foldedunfolding I can't speak for anyone else's situation.

Pretzel · 61-69, M

I'm not sure
Maybe you could ask his wife?

foldedunfolding · 41-45, F

@Pretzel ..what?

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foldedunfolding · 41-45, F

@ShenaniganFoodie a penny for your thoughts as to why?

foldedunfolding · 41-45, F

@ShenaniganFoodie legit asking, no emotion or sarcasm attached

Pinkstarburst

Yep. Enjoy it while it lasts!

SooperSarah

Isn't dating being in a relationship anymore?

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SooperSarah

@foldedunfolding it kind of feels like he's just keeping you around. It could be he wants to hold onto you as an option, or he's happy with just being friends. You seem to not be okay with either. You can't be emotionaly invested in someone that's not willing to return the effort. That ends in heartbreak 100% of the time.

foldedunfolding · 41-45, F

@SooperSarah yeah :( i know this..it just sucks really hard.

SooperSarah

@foldedunfolding I know, and I'm sorry ):

mindlessdrifter · M

However things go I hope the best in your life and that you will get the love and respect you deserve

Straylight · 31-35, F

Edges for you. 😏

caccoon · 36-40

Yes it is. 😔

I'm so sorry

foldedunfolding · 41-45, F

@caccoon aw thank you for the honest feedback and empathy.

caccoon · 36-40

@foldedunfolding I'm sorry, I've been in a similar situation and it was a lot like you're mentioning. It's a heartbreaking state to be in and it keeps you on edge

I hope you will find a way to be okay in it or otherwise get out 💙💙💙 I'm sorry girl. You deserve more

iamonfire696 · 41-45, F

This sounds like a relationship to me but why won’t he make it official?

It does sound like he’s not labeling it in case someone else comes around. I am sorry.

foldedunfolding · 41-45, F

@iamonfire696 exactly..we are playing house, and he is PUTTING ME ON LAYAWAY..while he shops the store, i feel. he SAYS he is not dating anyone else..but even if he isnt currently..i feel he has left the door open.

iamonfire696 · 41-45, F

@foldedunfolding that’s exactly what it sounds like and you deserve better.

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SW-User

@foldedunfolding I know it girl.

But you are not old. I'm turning 40 in a few months, we are not old, we are in our prime. And you are smoking hot. There is no settling. If you must, at least find someone that doesn't confuse you.

Wait what? He's got drama?

Then maybe his dick doesn't work tbh.

Sweet lady, all I know is it's not supposed to hurt/stress you out. Don't sell yourself short please 🖤 when I lost my fam and friends I was taking what I could get. And years later I'm still shaking off what I never shoulda fucked with.

I know it's hard. I wish I could take some of the pain away.

foldedunfolding · 41-45, F

@SW-User awwwww you are so precious..date me ha 🥺🥹 let's get 2 birds stoned at once....

i dont feel hot..i have health issues, heartbrokenness over my not-family, etc..i think i truly need to work more on my self image and what i bring to the table, so that i can attract that....

i don't have many TALENTS. people want TALENTS..not the house or cars or heart i come with ha

thank you for being a sister to me. ily.

SW-User

@foldedunfolding if we date it's end game girl 😂

We're all fucked up and it's okay to look at where you are and be happy with that too. I see beautiful and brave and clever.

I don't know what people want but you have a lot to offer just being you.

Love ya girl. Keep your head high 🖤

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foldedunfolding · 41-45, F

@eventtemple123 yeah..see why im so effing confused?? lol

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foldedunfolding · 41-45, F

@robertsnj chyeahh that is exactly how i feel..it has only been a little over a month of dating, so i can concede his point that it is a bit early yet..but idk..all these books and movies about how he is "just not that into you"..they really throw me off. "if he loves you..he will go to the ends of the earth"..i have seen it from other men towards their women. To his credit, he does want to be around me quite a bit..i just don't know, and have one of those pits in my stomach..an instinct that im not sure i can TRUST, due to past traumas of my own....

robertsnj · 56-60, M

@foldedunfolding he is definetly giviing you mixed signals with

not ready for a relationship combined with don't date other men

it is ok if you pump the brakes and take your time to think it through.

what do you like about him besides the fact you now don't have to hire a landscaper?

foldedunfolding · 41-45, F

@robertsnj i actually turned him DOWN on the landscaping thing like 3x..but he insisted. i also turned him down when he tried to buy me $600 worth of groceries when my taxes didn't come in. I love the crinkles by his eyes..the transcendent feeling we both felt when we first kissed..his sense of humor, cooking skills, and seeming patience with my depression and such..

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foldedunfolding · 41-45, F

@Sojournersoul AMENNNN

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